Homeless again (opinions)

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Originally Posted by oldmunchkin

No, it's not easy, but it's the hand of life I've been dealt. Guess I don't have much choice but to play it. I am trying to keep as positive an attitude as I can, figuring that at least helps my mental health!

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That's the spirit. When life deals you lemons always remember Stephen Fry's words: "Lemons are amongst the best and most wonderful gifts of nature. They are adaptable, versatile and delicious. A slice for your gin and tonic – juice to zing life into salads, stews, fish and seafood. Oil and sweetness from the rind and zest that is pure and perfumed and precious. They are a staple of what doctors agree is the best dietary regimen we can follow. S"

Take care Munchie :)

How does one qualify for disability in the US if you don't ?

I think the relevant question is; when is the last time you had a job? If that was fairly recent before 2008 if I were you then I'd apply for Disability with a first date of disability on the day you fell off that ladder. You probably have enough proof from care givers to back up such a claim.

Munch - at the risk of sounding like I'm giving you advice. :)

I think you should tell your family, it isn't for sympathy or feeling sorry for yourself, it is just that not saying anything won't help you and it won't help them. It seems "wrong" to keep this from your loved ones regardless of what other "issues" you have with them.

A little love and care from people you love and care about is NOT too much to expect. :(

Termit has a point worth considering. A few years ago I had a cancer scare. It was something my uncle died from before I was born. When I found a lump in the same place my uncle had his cancer, I got first and second opinions, scheduled surgery and decided not to tell anyone. But when I had to tell my boss I was going to be out, I completely broke down. So I told my family and my then-girlfriend.

In the end, I had the surgery and they were there for me. It helped a lot -- and ultimately I was lucky, it was a cyst that had the potential to become a tumor like the one that killed my uncle. Probably a genetic thing, but I had the benefit of noticing.

Either way, that was a relatively minor event compared to what you're going through. Which is why it may be worth it to tell your family.

You guys are terrific! :heart:

Timbuk, I am really not doing that bad. I have a bed for a few more days for sure, then I'll deal with whatever comes next.

Ziggy, I knew I could count on you to make me laugh! :haha:

Hazir, if I was a drunk or a drug addict, I would have already been approved. Other than that, my last on the books job was too long ago for it to help qualify me. And, as of right now, the cancer is not common knowledge, altho I suppose it might show up on the next MRI that is done on my back. I don't know if tumors show up on MRI's for sure or not. Since I'm not ready to make that common knowledge, it doesn't figure into SS's decision at all.

termite and Dread, I absolutely refuse to worry Mommymunchkin at this point. Especially considering she has 2 brothers with terminal (both are in remission right now) cancer and 1 brother with Alzheimers, and neither of her sisters are in very good health either. Plus she has her own health issues to deal with, along with the other worries she has.

I also know what The Kid would tell me. "Good! That's just that much less time I am going to have to deal with your shit! Why don't you just go crawl off into a hole and die and get it the fuck over with!" My son and I are having some pretty serious issues right now, and I refuse to let him think I am trying to get sympathy from him! I wonder where he inherited that stubborn streak? :haha:

Seriously guys, I'm doing ok for right now. When/if things change, either for better or worse, I'll be sure to let you all know. Until then, just keep thinking good thoughts for me and know that I will survive. Hell, I always do!

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Originally Posted by oldmunchkin

Hazir, if I was a drunk or a drug addict, I would have already been approved. Other than that, my last on the books job was too long ago for it to help qualify me. And, as of right now, the cancer is not common knowledge, altho I suppose it might show up on the next MRI that is done on my back. I don't know if tumors show up on MRI's for sure or not. Since I'm not ready to make that common knowledge, it doesn't figure into SS's decision at all.

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The people who'll deal with your claim won't be telling anybody else. So it would still not be public knowledge, and with your myriad of medical problems it will be impossible for people to guess why if you'd get disability.

But I have this feeling that being dependent on that somehow is scarier for you than dealing with all your problems on a day to day basis.

Quick update! As of the 1st, I have moved into a tiny, 1 bedroom apartment in a rent controlled building. It's in a Section 8 building, meaning it's based on income. My rent, including basic utilities, is $25 per month! Rent is paid thru Nov.1st, so all is better now.

Congratulations :D

Glad you have somewhere more permanent. :up: Didn't know they had Section 8 housing out there.

Have you told your family about the...other issue?

Nice going Munch :)

Hi Ms. Munchkin :)

I don't like telling anyone what to do, but you have to speak with your son.

I don't mean to scare you, but pancreatic cancer is a very sudden and very short-term affair. For that being your lot in life, you have my complete sympathy.

I am so sorry, honey. If it's late stage, I don't think you yet have an understanding of exactly what this is. This is not one of those times we write off our problems with our children until Christmas.

Get your ass off the Internet, get on the phone and cut through the stupid shit. There is nothing else in the world more important right now. Your life is ending, and ending very soon. Talk to your son and just say some variation of these words: Honey, I'm sorry I was unable to say this before, but I love you. Here's the deal...

You don't have time left for other resolutions. The most important thing right now is to connect with your son again. The last thing you can do as a mother is to clear the anger and take care of your son as much as possible. You won't be there to help him through what comes next, so give him as much as you can now to support him through this.

Most people in your situation do not have anything like the mobility and health you still do. So for the love of god, grow the fuck up, get your dumb ass to the emergency room and get help. They'll even sign you up for medicare themselves. And last but not least, think of your son. Nothing on planet earth is more important than you two preparing for your final time together. I hate to sound morbid, but if this has to be pointed out to you I can see where else he'd be angry with you.

munchie, I hope you come back and update everyone here. gentry is right, snap out of it, denial doesn't work after death.

:heart:

Sigh. :(
I'm very glad you've got some housing, Munch. That's a big help. :up: I didn't see the pancreatic cancer thing until now. :( In same ways I'll echo Gentry, in other ways not.


IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU PAY ATTENTION TO THIS POST AND ACT ACCORDINGLY.

1) You need to get medical care somewhere, somehow, ASAP. Why? Because "pancreatic cancer" is not a particularly solid diagnosis, whatever laypeople may think. Weren't you diagnosed with pancreatitis before? The point being that the final diagnosis generally isn't actually final until it has been removed surgically. Other diagnoses are possible. This is important because not all pancreatic cancers are created equal. Just ask Steve Jobs. THE pancreatic cancer (PDAC, or pancreatic ductal adenocarcinoma) has a very low survival rate. That's the one people always assume is meant when they say "pancreatic cancer." BUT, there are a number of other types of pancreatic cancer, and they cannot be discriminated amongst until a pathologist has the removed tumor in hand. You understand? Just because they say you have "pancreatic cancer" doesn't mean you have PDAC, or even a malignant cancer. A colleague of mine had a big but totally benign tumor removed from that region last year. No worries, no end of life. Until surgery, all it means is that you have a tumor in that location.

2) So, don't give up. The key is to get treated ASAP. because if it ISN'T PDAC, then the earlier the treatment, the better your prognosis. You hear me? Don't quit on the basis of a vague diagnosis like you've got, or I'll come to Wyoming and kick your ass myself.


So I'm very very sorry about your health problems. You know that I can empathize with that! But I'll also reiterate that it's critical that you don't throw in the towel on what MUST be a fairly imprecise diagnosis. Because the fact is that you may have a very treatable tumor. But if you DON'T treat it, it could become much worse. So you need to take care of it and figure out where you stand. You can't make uninformed decisions. And at this point you can't convince me that you have a solid diagnosis. I'm not an MD, and I can't recommend treatments. But I do know this much about pancreatic cancer, because I work in a cancer center and I've written grant proposals on the genetic mechanisms of PDAC development. You can't quit now!

I'm gonna try to answer some of this without massively long quotes, so bear with me a bit here! :p

Dread...I think there is Section 8 housing everywhere in the country, it's just that some of it is in better condition than others. The building I am in was originally meant to be for elderly people with limited incomes. As time has passed, they have opened it up to younger people with limited or no income. It's a very nice, well-kept building. We have security camera on every floor, and the outside doors are locked at 8PM, so no random people can just come wandering in. That certainly doesn't mean we are locked in after that, we all have a key...one of those fancy ones that can't be duplicated or some such shit! Hell I dunno how that part works, but you can't make a copy because they won't open the door! :) Of course, for emergencies, law enforcement and the fire department/ambulance service have keys. With the exception of 3 apartments, the entire ground floor is businesses, which seems to help keep the building a bit nicer. We have on-site management and maintenance, 24/7 too! :)

Gentry, GGT, and Tear...I have told Mommymunchkin and The Kid that I am sick, but not what the actual illness is. The Kid and I seem to have mended fences, tentatively, before I told them, so I can feel better about that.

Gentry, until I receive disability, the State of Wyoming considers me an Able-bodied Adult with No Children, meaning I am not able to get any medical help. I can get food stamps, but that's it at the moment.

Tear, I know there are all kinds of different things that could be the "cause" of my problems right now. Considering how I feel, I am inclined, ATM, to believe it's just my pancreatitus acting up. I actually feel quite well in that respect right now. Of course, I could be laid out flat in bed tomorrow, so who knows. Just as soon as I can possibly afford to go to the gastroenterologist, I will go. Until then, I'll just keep on keepin' on! :) I know early detection and treatment are the best things I could be doing, but I have to think of the cost right now. If I go to Casper to the gastroenterologist and it's just pancreatitus, then I am stuck for a hella big bill I can't afford to pay. On the other hand, if it's cancer, then I will be able to get Medicaid but they don't pay for certain kinds of treatments anyway. I have no idea if they would pay for this or not. I have to go to the Family Services offices the end of the month (I can apply for food stamps again then.) so will ask Patti about the Medicaid availability for me.

On a slightly brighter note, I went to see my back specialist a couple weeks ago. (I had to borrow $200 for just an office visit.) He said there is a slight change to the worse, but not enough to require surgery yet. He would like to do another steroid shot in my back, but understands I can't afford that just yet. He was able to write me a year's worth of Lyrica so I could send off to Pfizer and get my expensive pills for little or no cost. That will help immensely as those were costing me $264 a month!

All in all, things are going pretty good for me right now. I did have to make a choice of which to get, TV or internet. Obviously, I chose the cheaper option...internet. Hell, I can get anything here that I want to watch on TV anyway! I'm trying to get everything set up and put away in my apartment. Unfortunately, I sold a lot of stuff at the garage sales last year that I really need now. I am kind of like the kid just starting out...someone gave me a set of dishes they didn't want, I have two skillets...the top and bottom of a cast-iron dutch oven, I have one sauce pan that Mommymunchkin loaned me, one chair The Thing loaned me, and a bed The Thing gave me. To say the least, it's a hell of a lot considering the motel rooms and couches I've been living in/on, with no kitchen or separate bedroom. I am thoroughly enjoying myself getting all this put together. AND, I'm getting a bunch of the stuff out of the storage sheds so maybe we can get another one cleared out this month! :D

Oh honey... If I could hug you I would. This is no way to live.

Thanks Gentry! I'll be ok, I always am. Something will happen to get things going good for me again. Having everyone here to vent to has helped, even the opinions I don't agree with make me think in a different direction.

The Great State of Wyoming. :( Hang in there munchie and come back more often. :heart:

Not trying to act like a dick here, but... does anyone have a plan in place (as to alerting us) for when oldmunchkin kicks the bucket?

What?!?!

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Originally Posted by Ominous Gamer

Not trying to act like a dick here, but... does anyone have a plan in place (as to alerting us) for when oldmunchkin kicks the bucket?

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And this, right here, is a great example of why I always chuckle when some pot head trots out the assertion that marijuana use doesn't cause brain damage.

FFS man. Agreed. That wasn't called for, OG.

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Originally Posted by CitizenCain

And this, right here, is a great example of why I always chuckle when some pot head trots out the assertion that marijuana use doesn't cause brain damage.

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Why blame the pot? - some people are just pricks regardless - and everyone is responsible for their actions regardless of substance abuse.

Well hold on, now.

I'll admit that I thought the same thing, although I couldn't think of a polite way to ask it.

The thought was born of concern. I worry about someone I've been interacting with for several years now. As would many of you, I believe. If we care enough to read about an otherwise complete stranger's troubles in life, or their thoughts on politics/finance/video games/child rearing... I want to know what happens if they suddenly disappear.

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Originally Posted by gentry

Well hold on, now.

I'll admit that I thought the same thing, although I couldn't think of a polite way to ask it.

The thought was born of concern. I worry about someone I've been interacting with for several years now. As would many of you, I believe. If we care enough to read about an otherwise complete stranger's troubles in life, or their thoughts on politics/finance/video games/child rearing... I want to know what happens if they suddenly disappear.

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So PM them and ask away...

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Originally Posted by termite

So PM them and ask away...

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In the event of someone's death, this is not a feasible solution.

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Originally Posted by termite

Why blame the pot?

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Because this kind of... shall we say "oversight" (wait, people don't like being confronted about their impending death?!?) seems to be an extremely common "thought fail" among pot heads. So, it's probably the pot that's responsible for this particular instance of OG dumbassery, but of course, he doesn't get an "it's the pot" pass for all his idiocy, either.

I think she's told her son how to access her email account, and would notify everyone in her address book in worst case scenario.

If not---munchie please do that. ;)

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Originally Posted by gentry

In the event of someone's death, this is not a feasible solution.

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Don't play dumb, clearly I meant if you feel so strongly about knowing then PM her or email her or whatever about it now.

Regardless of whether it's in a PM or here in the forum, there had to be a multitude of ways to say what OG said without being quite so blunt...callous even.

One thing I picked up from the last few months with my dad, theres no reason not to be blunt about these matters. I'm not the only one who was thinking it, and munchie has to have thought about it to some degree. Why waste the time to beat around the bush. Thinking this is PM only material is just stupid.

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Originally Posted by Ominous Gamer

One thing I picked up from the last few months with my dad, theres no reason not to be blunt about these matters. I'm not the only one who was thinking it, and munchie has to have thought about it to some degree. Why waste the time to beat around the bush. Thinking this is PM only material is just stupid.

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Clearly that's a matter of opinion. You're not the only person that has encountered death here.

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Originally Posted by Ominous Gamer

One thing I picked up from the last few months with my dad, theres no reason not to be blunt about these matters. I'm not the only one who was thinking it, and munchie has to have thought about it to some degree. Why waste the time to beat around the bush. Thinking this is PM only material is just stupid.

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Dude, there's being blunt and not beating about the bush which I don't necessarily disagree with - such things need to be confronted, and then there's using a callous and thoughtless phrase such as 'kick the bucket' which I found utterly without taste.

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Originally Posted by Ominous Gamer

One thing I picked up from the last few months with my dad, theres no reason not to be blunt about these matters. I'm not the only one who was thinking it, and munchie has to have thought about it to some degree. Why waste the time to beat around the bush. Thinking this is PM only material is just stupid.

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You are right about bringing up the subject, I think it was on more people's mind. You are wrong though when you asked it in the way you did.

Well, I passed all of my password on to my wife before my surgery. In mnemonic form, of course, with the key on a piece of paper, not electronic. :)

But I doubt she would have ever looked here. I would have disappeared without a ripple, except that 2 forum members had access to my transplant web site.

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Originally Posted by Ominous Gamer

Not trying to act like a dick here, but... does anyone have a plan in place (as to alerting us) for when oldmunchkin kicks the bucket?

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Yes...The Kid will let you know!

Trust people...I shall survive! I ain't not dead yet! (to some people's chagrin.)

For GGT...I start radiation Monday! Once again...I will live thru this too! (Dammit woman, read your fucking e-mail or answer the phone or whatever!!@!!!!!!!!!)

PS! OG, I ain't not kicked the bucket yet!!

Crap, my e-mail is all fuckered up you know. But getting a new computer will happen soon! :heart:

also, PM works here, and sometimes I can get MSN to co-operate ;)