What does the surgery involve? I guess I'm asking if you know what are the factors that determine how much is excised and how they make that choice.
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What does the surgery involve? I guess I'm asking if you know what are the factors that determine how much is excised and how they make that choice.
You can find lots of good information on Head and Neck cancer sites. (When Michael Douglas was diagnosed with throat cancer, these web sites really took off.)Quote:
Originally Posted by Ominous Gamer
Some important things to consider for your mom: Her age, life expectancy, but especially Quality of Life. Removing large parts of the jaw can mean trouble speaking, chewing, eating. Any surgery around the mouth/tongue/jaw can mean fighting secondary infections, swelling, facial distortions, physical disabilities. Sometimes partial removal of the jaw can turn into removal of the tongue or palate, too. Post-surgical drains aren't discussed much, but they can be smelly and ugly. Once they remove parts of the tongue, palate, molars and jaw bone, food has to be pureed before it can be eaten. Or dinner out means soup, pudding, applesauce, mashed potatoes. :(
You can find all sorts of information on what's called "Radical Neck" surgery....."radical" is when surgeons try to make sure "they get it all" and crop out very large surrounding sections (rather like radical mastectomies that would remove the breast tissue, all surrounding muscles, tendons and ligaments, lymph nodes, and the nipple. Kind of like removing the whole forest to kill a few bugs.)
For people in their 70s or 80s "radical" surgery may not make much sense. If it only buys them limited life extension but comes with a plethora of other problems, you should ask a LOT of questions. Will going out in public mean feeling so mangled she'll end up staying home and hiding like a hermit instead? Wanting to kiss grandkids but not being able to because what little kid wants to be kissed by a granny who looks like a monster? Speaking, chewing, eating, swallowing....smiling....the importance of those things shouldn't be underestimated.
I hope before any procedure is done, you expect the surgeon to first describe what is "disfiguring or debilitating". And how much extended time that surgery would buy your mom, whether it's disfiguring or debilitating. Then let her decide about her quality of life, as a fully informed patient. :up:
Mom goes in tomorrow to start what is expected to be an 8-10 hour surgery. She'll be in the hospital for a week and then recovering at home for another 2 weeks. Thanks to the Family Medicial Leave Act I get to be there the entire time using up about 3 weeks of the several weeks of sicktime I've accumulated, without it showing up on any performance reviews or whatnot. Thats a lot of PSP and DS time as I sit there answering whats expected to be an ungodly amount of phone calls, switching feeding tubes and keeping the pets at bay.
Throat dissection, removing at least part of her lower right mandible, which means removing all but maybe her last tooth on that side (to act as an anchor for reconstructive surgery once the cancer is declared "gone"). They also may remove the lymph nodes in that area as a precaution.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dreadnaught
Hope it turns out for the best. Is there a cautiously optimistic smiley?
Best of luck to your mom (and all of you) tomorrow.
Yeah OG, good luck and all the best possible wishes to you and yours.
So, hate to bug but...how is she?
Surgery went a little longer than expected, they had to cut a little deeper than expected, remove a few more teeth than expected. Lymph node tests came back negative for cancer :up:, but based on the size of the thing they may recommend 6 weeks of radiation. :(
She was admitted to the ICU afterwards and only left there last night. She has been coherent since she first woke up after the surgery, but they had to monitor her closely because blood clots and pneumonia were the 2 most common after effects. She is up walking around, and besides a Joker-like scar on the side of her neck, looks like normal. She is in a regular room now and may be for a few days.
Glad that everything seems to be working out so far. :up: Best of luck.
Good to hear the first stage has been okay and they didn't have to physically remove too much. Obviously radiation isn't great, but hopefully after the next phase this will be behind all of you.
update time...
Mom got her tests results back from the first surgery. They didn't cut deep enough, the cells were still coming back as not healthy, so she went under the knife a second time. Luckily this was an in and out surgery. Doc could have done it in his office but he didn't have the correct machines to preserve what he would be removing. She got the results back from that surgery and they were clean enough to start radiation. Mom starts that monday, 5 (or 3, forgot) times a week, for 6 weeks. She won't feel the effects till 3 weeks into the treatment, and she won't be back to normal till 3 weeks after the treatment.
I did not get an interview for the promotion, RIF being what it is :( but I was put on a list for a transfer to a local branch that is so local I could go back to walking to work again :up:
Bought a ring the other day, little more pricey than I was planning on, but its damn nice. 1/2 carat center (1/2 carat accents) , H color, VS quality, 18k white gold. Was looking at full carat solitaires, but the quality of those stones in my price range looked like shit.
http://i.imgur.com/nflO9.jpg
Now to plan how the question is going to go...
Good news on your mom :up:
Now she has the dress, and you have the ring....it's wedding planning time! :cheers:
I'm both terrified and anxious to see how my mom and Brandy will handle the wedding and reception planning.
Only gotten Brandy to concede two items so far, a bounce house and Hooter wings.
Well, Hooter wings all depends on whether you're actually at Hooters. Congrats on the proposal!
But sorry to hear about your mom and the job. At some point, will it be worth considering not being in the library system? You're certainly young and smart enough to pursue other stuff that would still be in your areas of competence.
Mom is still doing radiation. Ain't taking it to well. Can't eat, lost her tastebuds for the time being, lots of throwing up. Best thing the doctor can say is "thats not right" :rolleyes:
But I got engaged tonight. :D:up:
Congrats on the engagement! How did the proposal play out?
Besides the throwing up and taste buds, how confident are they at this point about the end result? Obviously they will hedge and not try and make predictions, but what does your gut about their responses tell you?
Surprised her at dinner at home. I had been talking up about all these different ways to embarrass her in front of mobs of people, so I figured this would be a nice surprise she wouldn't have expected.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dreadnaught
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/lanes.pngQuote:
Besides the throwing up and taste buds, how confident are they at this point about the end result? Obviously they will hedge and not try and make predictions, but what does your gut about their responses tell you?
all they can say is that they dug and cut until no cancer showed up on any tests, and they are nuking the area for good measure.
Weddings are fucking ridiculous.
That is all.
O.o already having problems?
Congrats on the engagement! My advice is keep it super simple, or just elope. Involve the kids and your mom/her parents. Done!
I loved my wedding but it went so fast. All that planning for a 7 min ceremony and 3 hr reception. There were quite a few times I wished we had just done it in Vegas when we were there in '05...
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by Ominous Gamer
I feel for you OG.
Trying to bring mom into as best we can. The radiation really has gotten to her, and you can tell she wants to help so bad.
We are not really hitting problems, more like vultures. All these companies and people came out of nowhere once they figured out we were engaged and planning. All these free samplings, dinner cruises, the location walkthroughs and interviews. The horrible pricing format of venues (rent for cheap, but oh you can only use our caterers, and thats going to be $70+ a plate). Brandy apparently knew of all this before hand, and appears to have been planning for quite sometime :haha: so she is in charge of planning most of the stuff still. She asks for my input when we reach a new item, and I can tell by when she asks me how much input I'll actually have. Hits me up at dinner for serious stuff she wants me to decide, gets me when I'm playing Guildwars for the stuff she wants to handle.
I'm still good on the bounce house. :up:
Oh, well thats not so bad then. I personally liked going to all of the wedding shows around town for the free cake samples and the fashion show. :)
Watch the bounce house, OG. They tend to go airborne in gusts of wind. :eek:
Got my wedding band today. Brandy is the one who ordered, paid for, and surprised me with it. Knows me perfectly. I know I mentioned it on here before, didn't think I was going to be able to pull it off honestly.
If you recongized that the inscription is in Black Speech, go get yourself a cookie. Describes marriage perfectly.
As much as I hate to say it, it does look good. Though if you think the verse describes your future marriage, you are in a world of trouble. *Gollum*
;)
First batch of wedding invites are done
That's a nice invitation, but did we really need the nipple in the background
:haha: I didn't even notice the mirror.
We do believe we have all the required people booked and waiting to be paid. Music is coming together, and the marriage counselling feels more like 30 minutes of shooting the shit than anything else.
Got the cruise booked and paid for too. 7 days, during spring break, sailing to different places along Mexico. :up:
Went with my mom to the court house last week. She was curious how the legal end of her foreclosure worked, so when she got a notice about a hearing, we figured what the hell.
Judge asked us if we filed anything against the motion, and if we had any complaints against the filing. The answer was no for both answers, and he acted kind of surprised that we were there. He and my mom talked about the processes she went through trying to get refinancing and the cancers and death and put the whole thing into motion. Everyone in the room at the time (there were at least half a dozen cases that were being heard at about the same time) were supposed to have their homes auctioned off at the court house in midMay, but the judge pushed ours back until late June. The lawyers for the bank were phoning it in, and didn't a say a word about anything.
My mom's house is in rather nice condition and we ended up talking about perhaps looking into how we would go about buying a house from a courthouse auction. If a bank owns the mortgage, why would the house go to auction at the courthouse? Do they put it up and use whatever they get from the auction to cover the forclosure (I'm aware they can still come after the difference from my mom at a later time)? It almost sounds like a way to get the house back for dirt cheap.
It's nowhere near that easy and almost certainly completely beyond the means you guys would have available even if it was. The last time courthouse auctions came up on here I did some research and I bookmarked the following article, which seemed like a nice introduction. http://www.realtytrac.com/content/news-and-opinion/crapshoot-on-the-courthouse-steps-3986Quote:
Originally Posted by Ominous Gamer
From what I understand there, the biggest problem is going to be what the bank allows as the starting bid. She owes like twice what the property is worth :bulb: I have excellent credit and about 10 grand saved so far, and she still has most of her car winnings (which would cover the standard down payment for what the house is worth), but I'm curious how the process would be different securing a mortgage for an auction property. There is a second mortgage on the place, but its only a few grand, nothing I'm concerned getting saddled with (but I have heard horror stories of people buying only one of several mortgages on a property and ending up with nothing after the dust settles).Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleFuzzy
I've also told her that we need to do a couple of dry runs, only auctions I've been to involve paintings :undecided:
Thanks for the link :up:
I don't know how the rules work where you are but my *limited* understanding is that the requirement mentioned in the article, about full payment being expected up front, is pretty standard. And if your family could swing that then I doubt things would have reached the point of being foreclosed on in the first place.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ominous Gamer
After numerous cancelled auctions and just as many official documents from the courts that arrived blank and lacking any and all dating, it appears my mom's house was finally auctioned off. At least according to the 2 people to arrived unannounced at my mom's door claiming they are the new owners. They agreed to give her a few weeks to clear out, so there goes all my free time.
OG, given the new billion dollar punitive fines for Banks on robo-signing and foreclosure fraud.....it sounds like you can delay those "new owners" from taking possession of the property. The courts are probably more inclined now to give your mom the benefit of the doubt.
That might mean she relinquishes her house after all, but won't have to pay any back-taxes, loan-servicing fees or "default" fines, or suffer a bad credit report.
My mom is officially moved in, but we would make a pretty good pilot for a hoarders show at the moment. We didn't gut the old house, but I wasn't going to leave anything behind if I could help it. My yards look amazing now thanks to all her decorative bricks, pavers, and plants.
Now to spend the next several weeks properly absorbing her stuff into ours, and the attic, and the shed, and finally a yard sale.
Surprisingly her cats haven't been a problem. I've barely seen them these past couple of days. Dogs are a different matter, but so far I've blaming the boxes being everywhere for them being in the way.
One good thing about this is that my mom really wants FiOS, so I'm finally dropping BrightHouse/Time Warner and I'll be moving up to FiOS at 75/35 speeds. :D Netflix in all the rooms!
