So, there's this friend...

[Khendraja'aro]

Background: During my time at university, I had several small jobs, one in particular involved tech support over the telephone in a call-center. Made friends with several of my fellow students, though I largely lost contact after I switched to a different job and subsequently finished my studies.

Now, about a week ago, one of those guys mails me how he stumbled across older e-mails and if we maybe could meet up somewhere? Since we always had a good relationship and we invited each other to birthday parties and such, I agreed. Next tuesday, to be exact.

Just now I received another e-mail with him apologizing for "forgetting" to tell me that this would be a talk about insurance and all, describing his company and whatever. A so-called check-up.

I'm a bit annoyed since I've already been through this twice: Friends I've not seen in a while, calling me or emailing me for a meeting, which then turns into a "discussion" about insurance.

Let's just say it was an awkward affair, both times. Definitely won't do that a third time.

In that regard, what would be the best option? I'm currently of the opinion to state that I'm willing to meet him as a friend, but not as someone to sell insurance stuff to, insurance is already covered by two people of my choosing (my brother and an "external" agent).

[RandBlade]

I've never been through that but it'd piss me off. I'd feel really tempted to blow him off now, but if he was an alright friend then maybe make it clear before and give the option.

[Steely Glint]

In that regard, what would be the best option?

Not going.

[Khendraja'aro]

Not going.

Do I tell him that I'm not going or do I put him on a complete communications blackout?

[Hazir]

Do I tell him that I'm not going or do I put him on a complete communications blackout?

Blackout.

[wiggin]

It's definitely not cool of your 'friend' to do this in such a sneaky manner... but I don't think it's reasonable to be rude. It's probably best to just send him an email saying that you already have insurance sorted and you're afraid you have to cancel. Just being polite IMO.

[Hazir]

I think the need to be polite in this case is about on the same level as when a prostitute tells you her fee after having sex.

[Steely Glint]

Uh, it's up to you, Khend.

If it were me, I'd definitely tell him if specific arrangements have been made - it's not fair to let him travel somewhere and then just not bother to turn up, even if he is trying some smarmy salesman bullshit under the guise of "friendship" on you.

If nothing definite has been proposed then I'd be inclined to simply not reply, because I'd find what he pulled on you very insulting. "oh hey, let's be friends again... and can I interest you in some insurance?" and also because I find the idea of framing the whole thing as a "discussion about insurance" and a "checkup" even more irritating on top of that. Like... "it's time you and I had a little talk about insurance, son" - go fuck yourself, hey? They're just assuming some kind of pre-existing relationship and that you're some how letting them down by not having adequate insurance (adequate insurance defined here as "with them") which they need to come and have a serious talk with you about.

But that's just me. I don't take being manipulated well. I am perfectly capable of not doing something that is a perfectly good and sensible idea - something I was going to do anyway, even - if I feel someone is trying to somehow trick me into doing it.

If your only concern is that you don't want to repeat what was an awkward experience the previous times then maybe just a gentle rebuff/fabricated excuse is all that's necessary. Ultimately, it's your social life and your own values you have to stay true to. The above is basically how I'd react, though.

[Aimless]

Tell him dude no sales pitches

[Timbuk2]

Tell him dude no sales pitches

This.

Make it clear from the start.

[Wraith]

Can you contact the last 'friend' that tried to sell you insurance, and get him to meet this new 'friend' in your place? Let them pitch each other insurance products.

[Khendraja'aro]

I could try that - I'd have to get that one's contact information first, though

[Aimless]

You make a deal and talk to them about physics, they might realise how meaningless their things are.

[RandBlade]

I think to be fair to your "friend" at least he's mentioned in advance what he wanted to talk about, its not as if he's waited until you met and he sprang it by surprise.

[Dreadnaught]

Seems like it's not worth your (or his) time to meet.

[Nessus]

Worst payoff wrt thread title vs actual thread content

Also what a bizarre person, and you've had this happen three times now?

[Khendraja'aro]

Over the course of 10 years, mind.

Next time I'll include some explosions just so that the content meets your high standards!

[Nessus]

I wasn't excepting so much Michael Bay as Russ Meyer, to be honest

[Dreadnaught]

Really any time over ten years seems pretty unusual. Do most people buy insurance from a friend over there/is just getting insurance online not a big deal?

[Khendraja'aro]

It's over the period of ten years that I had two other friends approach me with schemes like that. This particular person I've seen last about 3 years ago.

And I've told him a curt "No, that's not something I want." Ball's in his court now.

[Khendraja'aro]

Okay, got an answer at midnight: "Well, that's one of the canned answers I've come to know. Too bad. Oh, and, the meeting tomorrow? Something spontaneously came up!"

Right. Because spontaneous meeting usually develop in the middle of the night

[Loki]

Is there any profession out there worse than the ones that rely on cold calling?

[agamemnus]

Desperate times.

[Loki]

Germany's economy is doing fairly well. And given Khen's age, I'm going to assume this guy is about 30...

[agamemnus]

Sure, that's what they said about America in 2006. Germany will soon have to finance a ton of nearly bankrupt countries. . . but, I dunno.

[Loki]

Pretty sure that doesn't affect one's ability to have gotten a decent job half a decade ago.