Interesting discussion for parents as well as siblings.

My eldest son and I have been having this conversation recently---how birth order feels from parent or sibling perspective. Parents always try to claim there's no favoritism, but there is. My first borne son holds such a special place in my heart, but he never really "knew" it, because he remembered life with his little brother more. Once I started talking about the years when he was "the only one", his mood and demeanor began to change, just a little bit. We really did have a special mother-son relationship, for several years, and it seemed to me something he'd never forget. But he did.

His little brother, my second child, is also special in my heart for many reasons. Following a late miscarriage, when the first borne was about two years old, my next pregnancy was even more important than usual. I was considered an "elderly" risk. My husband didn't really have a clue. Any female bleeding pretty much meant menstruation to him. We had early bleeding and bed rest for weeks, ruling out Hydatidiform mole, then placenta previa, then gestational diabetes. But he was eventually born, and quite perfect at that. He's never known life without his older brother....

I was the youngest of three girls, with one of my mother's miscarriages in between. Later on in my life, she told me how she had severe cramps during the second trimester of her third pregnancy. How she sat on the toilet, hoping it was just gas or diarrhea, only to realize she was aborting the babe. She cried a while, then scooped the remains from the toilet and put them in a Skippy jar, to take to the doctor the next day. All by herself and all alone, never calling to her husband (my father) at the time. She just accepted that men didn't really have a clue about women's bleeding, or what it meant That made me very sad. But it also made me feel grateful that I was her fourth attempt, and third live birth.

Being the eldest or youngest carries a special status, but our middle siblings should never forget that they're special, too. They often feel like they're "competing" for attention from first borne or last borne, but they really represent hope in its purest form. And today's men should understand the difference between menstrual periods and miscarriages.