This one's for Hazir:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000...105740244.html
This one's for Hazir:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000...105740244.html
"One day, we shall die. All the other days, we shall live."
It's funny how these things differ between cultures. There are apparently groups where giving money is a no-no, while in other groups it's the #1 wedding gift. Re. paying for their share of the costs, I get uncomfortable knowing that the guests don't really have a say in deciding the venue and the meal--they just get to choose whether or not to attend. That being said, I like the general attitude that it's okay to have parties where the host doesn't have to shoulder all the costs. I recall having a discussion about this online a while back and being met with incredulity and mockery by American adults who seemed outraged by the notion.Originally Posted by Loki
My dad has taught me that serving size is inversely proportional to serving price and frequently unrelated to serving costThe Indian wedding I went to must have had 150 people and was in a pretty fancy restaurant. Not much food though (something that seems to be common of all American restaurants, regardless of how much they cost).the food at the Bengal weddings I've been to so far has always been delicious and plentiful, if not very original (another difference between Bengal and Swedish weddings: we have Views on what specific foods must be served at a wedding, while Swedes seem to want more variety and creativity). Being a darkie I'd honestly taking heaping steaming helpings of eg. a good lamb biriyani over fancy french cuisine any day. That said, we're looking at reindeer and deer and elk for the dinner, not in biriyani form
"One day, we shall die. All the other days, we shall live."
I prefer the Russian way. What am I going to do with several thousand dollars worth of presents? I can figure out what to do with several thousand dollars though.
Your dad should replace you on this forum.My dad has taught me that serving size is inversely proportional to serving price and frequently unrelated to serving costAgreed upon the merits of Indian food too. This is why I'm having mine in a Russian restaurant (generous servings and a decent amount of variety). Russian guests get pissed off if they're underfed. And that's bad since they spend the entire day drinking vodka.
The problem with "ethnic" restaurants though is that the servers are frequently not as prompt and nice as they should be.
How are you handling the religious aspect? We had a gay female priest (who was going to be dressed in a suit; we talked about the suit part, the gay female part was not intentional) lined up before the wedding fell through before.It would be amusing to have a rabbi though, given all the pork and the whole roasted pig that my fiancee insists upon.
Hope is the denial of reality
The last wedding I went to was of a niece. It was a Turkish/Moroccan do, and I have no doubt an obscene amount of money was spent on dining the 250 or so guests at the Marriott in Amsterdam. Though I suppose costs were brought down a bit by the fact that no alcohol was served. AFAIK it was paid for by the parents, and presents were given in the shape of cash and gold coins.I mentioned it like a year ago. Original wedding was meant to be in August 2011.
In any Russian event, the guests are expected to more or less pay for their share of the restaurant cost.
The Indian wedding I went to must have had 150 people and was in a pretty fancy restaurant. Not much food though (something that seems to be common of all American restaurants, regardless of how much they cost).
As these things go (at least with Turks) the bigger the wedding party the bigger the donations towards the couple.
Congratulations America
If they'll bring an ounce of gold each, I'll invite them.
Hope is the denial of reality
Wow...you guys have some big budgets. I got married 6 years ago, had 70 guests and it cost me less than $10k all said and done. We got married and had the reception at the same place, though: a company that specializes in events like weddings, anniversary parties, proms, etc. The venue itself with the buffet and an open bar was $7k, and the rest was all adding up the flowers, cake, dresses, tuxedo rentals, extra decor, DJ, etc. I'll admit I don't know the exchange rate so maybe it isn't that far off of everyone else's budget? It wasn't the most exotic thing ever but it was perfect for us.
Anyway, the only thing I can say is that it can be stressful to plan a wedding. And at the end of all that planning, the event itself seems to fly by (though as much as I bitched about the prep, I'm glad I did it. That said, if I ever had to get married again I'd elope
$10,000 is about €7,500 which is a little bit less than 60,000 krona.
Congratulations America
No luck there; typical coin is the Cumhuriyet Altin, which is 7 grams of 24krt gold. ($350 or so ? )If they'll bring an ounce of gold each, I'll invite them.
Congratulations America
Your math is a bit off. $10,000 = 66k krona.
That's not terrible.
Hope is the denial of reality
Congrats! ~Nine months to go! Is there a particular theme to the wedding? IE is it religious in some way? Or will a radical lesbian Marxist perform the ceremony? I've been to weddings officiated by both and was reduced to man-tears.
I probably think more like Hazir when it comes to this stuff, but wouldn't begrudge someone who wants to have something nice. If I get with someone who insists on having a wedding that costs more than $15,000, I will insist on a dowry and use that money to buy a classic convertible "for the wedding".
Looks like a nice place. Though...The more I look at it, the more that statue of a stressed-looking child carrying a giant water fountain catches my eye.
PS- any particularly old/infirm relatives? If so, looks like someone will have to shuttle them from the parking lot down to the "main house". Don't let the venue charge extra for that, just hire your teenage relatives to do it. They'll love the chance to drive a few meters!
Blame OandaYour math is a bit off. $10,000 = 66k krona.
That's not terrible.
Congratulations America
http://www.slotzeist.com/files/images/420109.jpg how s this for a location?
Congratulations America
Looks like a good place to sign a binding legal treaty, which is what a marriage really is or something.
Yeah, I totally agreed. Which is why we chose it.Looks like a good place to sign a binding legal treaty, which is what a marriage really is or something.
Congratulations America
Haha....I just read the WSJ article that Aimless posted. I had a friend as a photographer for my wedding; but he's actually good at it! All it cost me was the film and to have it developed.
I forgot that the Swedes had their own currency. If you're interested our budget is ~127.5k Krona (according to Google). Sounds like a heck of a lot when you translate it like that
From that link above "Don't have a cash bar - its not acceptable even in a recession" ... we're providing some drinks but not all drinks for everyone. It'd be a cash bar for most of the night and that's the same as every wedding I've ever been to.
We're providing a glass of champagne per person on arrival, a glass of champagne per person for the toast and half a bottle of wine per person for the wedding breakfast (eg a 10 person table has 5 bottles of wine on it). That seems like a lot of alcohol to provide, if people want to drink beers, spirits or more wine through the night they can pay cash.
Then definitely splurge on the event, knowing it's not to "prove" something to others, but to CELEBRATE marrying your beloved. Anything so romantic and lovely is automatically treated (by others) as a waste of money or skewed priorities. Don't pay too much attention to those naysayers. Weddings are a rare opportunity to shower affection and appreciation on more than just the new couple...but their families and friends, too.....
I won't lie--I do get all mushy and warm and obnoxious at the thought of marrying my beloved pink-and-white cupcake and romance and speeches etc... but I know life is def. great even without a flashy wedding, just like it is without iPads and exotic vacations and hotel-nights and fancy booze etc. Still, we make good money, our regular expenses are low in both absolute and relative terms, and this is something we're pretty happy splurging on just once.....
Spend more money than necessary. Make it bigger than expected. Include more people than your budget allows. Let your wedding reflect the values you have as individuals, and embrace the families and friends that helped lead to your love, and becoming a couple. If you want a celebration, then CELEBRATE!
Also, don't scrimp on flowers or florist charges.
I agree, especially since a significant percentage of the money spent on flowers will benefit the economy of North-Holland.
Congratulations America
That's too cynical a view. They can plan their wedding and splurge on local flowers, berries, herbs, or even branches.
I seriously doubt that. (We sell €6bn worth of flowers to the world every year)
Last edited by Hazir; 11-26-2012 at 04:55 AM.
Congratulations America
They aren't forced to order from North-Holland, though.
Even if they don't we'll probably still make money from their purchase. The Aalsmeer flower auction house auctions off flowers and plants all over the world. Unless they pick their own flowers from their own garden they have no chance of us not making any money. And even if they do, they may be picking flowers from plants we marketed.
Congratulations America
Another cynical post from Hazir. I'll chalk it up to your insomnia. Neither Holland nor the Netherlands own rights or patents to all heirloom seeds or bulbs. Sweden can grow their 'own' flowers in hot houses and solariums. They can probably take advance orders in November, for weddings in August, and plan accordingly.
See, that's what I meant with wedding stuff being overpriced. I don't see why you'd have to pay more just because it's a wedding. Or why people even accept that (because let's face it, they only charge that because people are apparently willing to pay it). For 100 p.p. you could easily take everyone to a somewhat fancy restaurant! And your location, you call it cheap, I think it's already hideously expensive. 5k just for a location?? I have some experience organizing a good party, and for 5K you can easily get a nice place. If food is so expensive, isn't it a better idea to have it at a nice restaurant/hotel with their own kitchen, bar, and staff? For 'normal' parties you tend to get the location for free, or cheap, if they have guaranteed sale (e.g. drinks and food). So unless they also screw you over for a wedding that seems like a good idea, otherwise you're paying the food and the location.We're looking at some semi-outdoor venues (here's a possibility: http://www.prospectpark.org/parties_...nichouserental), and the prices are lower than I thought they'd be. It's everything else that's ridiculously expensive. We're going to get a Russian restaurant for the food, and they all charge well over $100/person, even when they'd charge $30/person for a similar non-wedding event. 30 people = $4000.I had a look at some Italian places, and they cost 2-3 times as much (I have a feeling it's where mafiosos get married given who lives in my neighborhood
). Other stuff is another $2k or so, and we're not exactly doing anything fancy.
My cousin had after the ceremony a lunch in a public park, quite pretty, for close friends and family, with sandwiches and pies etc. made by friends, which was very tasty, nice, and presumably very cheap. Later, after the church part, a dinner at a pub/restaurant, which was probably not very expensive. Wasn't too fancy, but the food was decent, the place was cozy, so that's good enough for me. This was of course a marriage in the reformed church which seems to frown on anything excessive or too much fun..
It's not too cynical, sure, they can grow their own flowers, but almost all flowers are sold through the Netherlands
Keep on keepin' the beat alive!
We did most of the heavy lifting for our wedding. If you hold the ceremony or reception at a church the members are more than happy enough to prepare the food if you've done your part to get it ready to serve, as long as you are open handed with the donations (it works eerily similar to prositution). I picked up a few high school students to play waiters and it worked very smoothly.
I don't think we spent more than a couple grand on everything from start to finish.
"In a field where an overlooked bug could cost millions, you want people who will speak their minds, even if they’re sometimes obnoxious about it."
So apparently this is a thing...
http://www.snopes.com/weddings/customs/garter.asp
"One day, we shall die. All the other days, we shall live."
Yes that happened at a wedding I went to a few years ago in America. Was a little bit ummm ...
... We've not discussed doing that.
Thats extremely common in america. We did it. Pull it off, then fling it to waiting bachelors.
"In a field where an overlooked bug could cost millions, you want people who will speak their minds, even if they’re sometimes obnoxious about it."
Yup, did it here too. Almost every wedding I've attended has done it. Some weddings I've been to the groom took it off with his teeth, which I think is too awkward to do in front of old people. Luckily Hubby has more tact than that. The twist at the end of the reception I have seen done (and we did) is that the man who caught the garter has to put it on the woman who caught the bouquet. I would not have allowed that to happen if we had people under 18 catch them, but luckily not only did we not have a single minor at the wedding, but the two people involved in the event were hilarious. It was one of my older wild lady coworkers and my good college buddy who is not experienced with the ladies. They were both good sports about it. Not something I'd recommend at every wedding, but at ours it provided a good comical moment.
Yeah it was an American wedding I witnessed it in, never seen it previously. IIRC (it was 6 years ago) the groom flung it straight to the Best Man (both British), who put it on the Maid of Honor (American like the bride). Possibly because it was a trans-Atlantic wedding there was no randomness in the people involved.
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