Besides, I'm sure the online dating crowd isn't full of wild party going moral-less junkie STD infected types....or else they'd be too busy to be on a dating site? Or am I wrong on this? Times have been a-changing....
Besides, I'm sure the online dating crowd isn't full of wild party going moral-less junkie STD infected types....or else they'd be too busy to be on a dating site? Or am I wrong on this? Times have been a-changing....
Clearly, you're doing it wrong. The solution to your misuse of sex and alcohol (as indicated by your inability to enjoy them), therefore, isn't to jump to the insane conclusion that they are immoral or unreasonable or unfun, but to take corrective measures. To do them right, so you enjoy the things that billions of years of evolution have programmed us to find enjoyable. Swearing them off because of a bad experience or two is like not eating because you got food poisoning and puked once.Originally Posted by Draco
And, by the way, I can't help but observe that if you had a nice stranger give you a nice orgasm once in while, you might not find life so unbearable that you break down and cry. [yikes!]
No, I'm pretty sure people who are over forty can still drink and fuck... let me ask around and find out for certain though. And I'm pretty sure life ends when you die... or so my biology teachers always told me. Again, give me some time to investigate and I'll come back with a definite answer for you.
Besides, what's your life about?
Being a perfectly rational logic machine, because that's the moral way to be, because it's rational (or something like that, if I follow your circular logic later on your post)? Sounds like a great way to be perfectly miserable (and break down and cry about your life for no apparent reason, for example), as well as obsolete. We have machines to be perfectly rational and logical for us. They're called computers, and I see no rational or logical reason you're aspiring to be an overgrown calculator, especially given that human limitations make you a lousy calculator, while compensating you with other strengths computers can't do at all.
There is nothing immoral or irrational or disrespectful about taking pleasure in life, particularly if you don't ascribe to any religion, which you say you don't. It all ends when you die, so you persist in a miserable and/or pointless existence, for what reason, exactly? Where's the logic and reason in that? Why not just blow your brains out and get it over with? Quick and painless.... oh right, you're an Aussie, no guns. Heroin OD, then. They say it's like being hugged by God, and since you're offing yourself, addiction and prison and all the downsides of addictive drugs aren't there, so it sounds like a great, logical and well-reasoned out plan to me. No? Why not?
Well, first of all, there's nothing reasonable or logical about your moral code, and least of all because it's founded on an absurdly unreasonable premise - it's not even internally consistent. Secondly, you're not supposed to get so drunk you can't remember fucking her... you're supposed to stop drinking right before that point. It just takes practice to hit that point every time, so everyone's bound to over shoot the mark while they're still learning.
As to the rest... my buzz is really dropping off sharply, no doubt because of reading your post, so... maybe later. It should suffice to say that there's no logic in avoiding fun so you can "value your life," which is miserable, because you spend your whole life avoiding fun, until you die, at which point it was all for nothing anyway, since there's nothing waiting on the other side and you cease to exist, except as fertilizer and worm food. You can't take it with you when you go, so the purpose or logic to building up this character and strength is... so you'll be healthier worm food? Or...?
Well, whatever... I'm gonna go get some nice, pleasant drunk sleep for the next 16 hours or so, wake up happy and refreshed and strong enough to take on the world by myself come Saturday evening, and hopefully that will give you enough time to explain why this was so horribly immoral of me. If it helps, we can say I had a one-night stand with what's-her-face too, though I didn't... just wasn't feeling it tonight. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be in the right mood, and I can have a one night stand with what's her name and her sexually adventurous college roommate!
"I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them."
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."
-- Thomas Jefferson: American Founding Father, clairvoyant and seditious traitor.
So if I choose my life so I party a lot, because my independent thinking likes it and wants it, I'm all good?Thanks!
Or do you think everybody who parties does that only because their 'generation' thinks it's fun, not because they actually like it?
Keep on keepin' the beat alive!
Yeah, Draco it sounds like you have some trouble finding a middle ground here. And someone to share that middle ground with. But I don't think people who are on one end or the other lack a moral code, it's that they have a different personality.
^^Actually I have/had a friend who shared my exact views. We agreed on everything, and we became very close friends because of it. Unforunately he got into some relationship, and ended up changing into this bitchy person, insulted me and betrayed the trust we had, so now I don't speak to him anymore.
Yeah, people do have a different personality, but that also coincides with whether they have any sort of moral code. For example, one of my "friends" likes to fashion himself as a person of integrity, self respect, morals, you name it, yet he's the most nastiest, insecure person that I know. He takes any opportunity to put other people down, he doesn't care if he makes out with a random girl, because he knows that the next day he can boast about it to everyone so he comes across as "cool" or whatever. He lacks a moral code, yet knows what it means to have one because of his fake image. I can go on with countless examples of people that I've known, of my so called friends, how they lack a moral code and how their life is going, how their true personality is etc.
I like to sit at home and knit
How I have fun: I hang out with my friends. Although the fun ends for me when they get drunk to the point where they need me to hold them up. And I don't know what "stories" I should tell my kids that involve drinking myself into a stupor or having a random fling. Sure, I have my own interesting stories to tell that don't involve excessive use of alcohol and the likes.
Well for the record I've never had sex, and it's because of these morals/values that I'm babbling on about. I've entertained the idea, but I don't think that I could ever do it. To be honest, the thought of it disgusts me, to reveal myself (not only physically, but emotionally) to another person whom I don't know, I could never bring myself to do. I find greater satisfaction in the idea of having a sexual relationship with someone whom I love and value. But tell me, how the 'right' way to go about it is? Go on and convince me.Clearly, you're doing it wrong. The solution to your misuse of sex and alcohol (as indicated by your inability to enjoy them), therefore, isn't to jump to the insane conclusion that they are immoral or unreasonable or unfun, but to take corrective measures. To do them right, so you enjoy the things that billions of years of evolution have programmed us to find enjoyable. Swearing them off because of a bad experience or two is like not eating because you got food poisoning and puked once.
I didn't mean that I break down and cry, I was just saying that in general, since I've observed it amongst a few of my friends and strangers that I'd see in some bar.And, by the way, I can't help but observe that if you had a nice stranger give you a nice orgasm once in while, you might not find life so unbearable that you break down and cry. [yikes!
Oh, that would be good thanks. I'm curious myself.No, I'm pretty sure people who are over forty can still drink and fuck... let me ask around and find out for certain though. And I'm pretty sure life ends when you die... or so my biology teachers always told me. Again, give me some time to investigate and I'll come back with a definite answer for you.
I'm not miserable.Being a perfectly rational logic machine, because that's the moral way to be, because it's rational (or something like that, if I follow your circular logic later on your post)? Sounds like a great way to be perfectly miserable (and break down and cry about your life for no apparent reason, for example)
Sounds like you're taking what I said out of proportion. Just because I don't adhere to your type of "fun life" doesn't mean that i'm not taking pleasure in life, or that I'm persisting in some miserable existence..wtf? You did this in the last topic where we had this discussion and I'm not eager to repeat it.There is nothing immoral or irrational or disrespectful about taking pleasure in life, particularly if you don't ascribe to any religion, which you say you don't. It all ends when you die, so you persist in a miserable and/or pointless existence, for what reason, exactly? Where's the logic and reason in that? Why not just blow your brains out and get it over with? Quick and painless.... oh right, you're an Aussie, no guns. Heroin OD, then. They say it's like being hugged by God, and since you're offing yourself, addiction and prison and all the downsides of addictive drugs aren't there, so it sounds like a great, logical and well-reasoned out plan to me. No? Why not?
I've explained myself, and I even mentioned that I have a few drinks every now and then, so hey, at least I'm fulfilling some level of your 'fun.' I just don't get what's so "fun" about doing it on a regular basis, or having a random fling. Please explain that to me and stop twisting my position.As to the rest... my buzz is really dropping off sharply, no doubt because of reading your post, so... maybe later. It should suffice to say that there's no logic in avoiding fun so you can "value your life," which is miserable, because you spend your whole life avoiding fun, until you die, at which point it was all for nothing anyway, since there's nothing waiting on the other side and you cease to exist, except as fertilizer and worm food. You can't take it with you when you go, so the purpose or logic to building up this character and strength is... so you'll be healthier worm food? Or...?
Good for you!Well, whatever... I'm gonna go get some nice, pleasant drunk sleep for the next 16 hours or so, wake up happy and refreshed and strong enough to take on the world by myself come Saturday evening, and hopefully that will give you enough time to explain why this was so horribly immoral of me. If it helps, we can say I had a one-night stand with what's-her-face too, though I didn't... just wasn't feeling it tonight. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be in the right mood, and I can have a one night stand with what's her name and her sexually adventurous college roommate!
If you think it's the best way to go about your life, knock yourself out. I'm not going to stop you.So if I choose my life so I party a lot, because my independent thinking likes it and wants it, I'm all good?
Yes actually, I'd say that some people do it because their generation thinks it's "fun". That's how I started, house parties in high school, I'm there, lets see what all the fuss is about: an hour later, half the people are out on the street consoling some girl who said she was going to suicide, whilst the other half are inside bitching about her, that's all I remember. I turn 18, everyone goes to night clubs when they turn 18 right? I go out with my sister and her friends (who were 2-3 years older than me), and I remember having a fun time at that age. Loud music and flashing lights weren't ever my thing, but it's something new and interesting. I quickly got over that though.Or do you think everybody who parties does that only because their 'generation' thinks it's fun, not because they actually like it?
I'm 23 now and I don't care for night clubs, I like pubs/bars that play 90s music, that's about it. I don't care for getting drunk, or for having a random fling. Someone tell me WHY that is so important? WHY is it deemed to be fun?? Here I am explaining myself, so can someone give me a good reason as to why a drunken night, or a casual f* is so much "fun"? As opposed to having a few beers, (within reason), and sharing a good night with your friends?
You have plenty of company, Draco. At least about the random flings or one night stands not being fun or important. I never understood those, either.
Drinking can be fun, though, and it doesn't have to mean people stumbling around, passing out or puking.You can also play cards (we used to play backgammon or euchre), sit by a fire, tell stories, laugh, dance a little. But we used to have the option of mellow pot smoking socializing, and that's totally different from alcohol.
I don't know about fun, to each his own and whatnot, but this thing you have where you put down most of humanity for not being you is not a good thing. I honestly don't think it's the best way to find an amazing person to love and to share your life with. Doing that requires humility and the ability to tolerate and like and respect someone who's different from you. It requires you to be able to look at both your strengths and your weaknesses; to understand that who you are, how you see things, and what you do aren't purely rooted in what you perceive to be "reason"; to understand that you're a human being more or less like any other; to entertain crazy notions such as, "I might have been wrong," and to be able to do that without freaking out, because even if you were wrong you still have your schnookums and she loves you and that love is worth a great deal more than convincing yourself you're right while everyone else is morally degenerate/stupid/cruel/useless.
If you can't do that you'll end up betraying and hurting any worthy person who ever comes close enough to you to love you. Take it from someone who once was as upstanding and as judgemental as you are
But, the thing is, you can't be convinced of anything that goes against the narrative you've established as your immutable truth. That's not because you're undeniably right. It's simply because you've made yourself immune.
"One day, we shall die. All the other days, we shall live."
I think Draco was simply expressing his frustration at feeling like a minority among his peer group, minx. If most people he knows really love clubbing and drinking and random sex but he's not into that, it's not unreasonable to ask why that seems to be "what everyone else is doing".
I love playing backgammon (and chess)Drinking can be fun, though, and it doesn't have to mean people stumbling around, passing out or puking.
I know I come across as putting others down, and I don't want to seem like that, since I don't put people down, but I can see how I give that impression.
Well you raise some interesting points there (and so far you and GGT are the only people that haven't attacked me but made me think about my views). But I understand that other people have their own thing, they do stuff that I don't entirely agree with, and I'm fine with that, with even starting a relationship with someone who say likes to get overly drunk every weekend, however we'd need to have something else going for it to kick off. One thing that I'm adamantly against is basing a relationship off a random fling. I'd rather get to know them as a friend then pursue that path.I honestly don't think it's the best way to find an amazing person to love and to share your life with. Doing that requires humility and the ability to tolerate and like and respect someone who's different from you. It requires you to be able to look at both your strengths and your weaknesses; to understand that who you are, how you see things, and what you do aren't purely rooted in what you perceive to be "reason"; to understand that you're a human being more or less like any other; to entertain crazy notions such as, "I might have been wrong," and to be able to do that without freaking out, because even if you were wrong you still have your schnookums and she loves you and that love is worth a great deal more than convincing yourself you're right while everyone else is morally degenerate/stupid/cruel/useless.
Well I know I come across as being rather judgemental, but I'm really not in real lifeIf you can't do that you'll end up betraying and hurting any worthy person who ever comes close enough to you to love you. Take it from someone who once was as upstanding and as judgemental as you are
the way I see it is that other guys are
It's like you read my mind, I have made myself immuneBut, the thing is, you can't be convinced of anything that goes against the narrative you've established as your immutable truth. That's not because you're undeniably right. It's simply because you've made yourself immune.
That's it, frustation. I usually find it kinda hard to express myself, but I do feel like a 'minority' or that I'm lonely because I really don't have anyone (in my own generation) whom I can interact with on such a 'level', to discuss these types of thing, to even talk about politics, philosophy etc like I said earlier, I did have such a friend but he betrayed my trust and now I don't have one proper friend (and I don't mean that in a bad way), they're all there for the laughs, to talk about their own problems, but when I start to talk about my own problems, they stare at me blankly, say "yep" a few times then change the topic.
I've got other reasons as to why I'm so anti-drinking/being drunk and holding this moral code for relationships, but they're personal and I can see them being used against me (by the likes of CitizenCain).
Well, the first guy I met online that turned into a relationship offline is now my husband, and we've been married for five years. My husband's sister initially had some bad luck online (nothing really terrible, but not good either), but she just got engaged a couple weeks ago after dating for about a year and a half. Both my husband and I and the two of them met on Yahoo Personals, which has since been bought by Match.com. One of my co-workers met her husband on Match.com, and they've been married for six years.
I'd say be honest about yourself, be honest about what you're looking for, be patient, and it can work. Sending emails and messages is good, but IMing is probably better. Chatting is more like a conversation offline, and doesn't give people so much time to gloss up their words or come up with the perfect thing to say. More of a person's real personality comes across, and you can weed out the ones who probably aren't going to work out without spending money or time on a date.
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