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Thread: I laughed my frakkin ass off

  1. #1

    Default I laughed my frakkin ass off

    Sometimes you start out looking for one thing, but then end up finding something slightly different.

    That's what's happened to a program of background checks for construction workers at the new Cobb County courthouse.

    It all started last February when a brick layers union complained that some of the workers might be illegal aliens, possibly taking jobs from Americans.

    One bricklaying boss and 10 undocumented workers lost their jobs.

    Then Cobb County Sheriff Neil Warren announced he would begin background checks for all workers on the $63-million project.

    The Sheriff expected to finish those background checks by Friday, August 20th, but after processing 870 forms, the investigation will now continue until the courthouse is finished.

    Two reasons: security and pay dirt.

    The security is because some of the workers are now beginning construction of sensitive behind the scenes areas of the courthouse not open to the public.

    The pay dirt is 8 arrests so far.

    Turns out they were illegals alright, but American illegals...people wanted on outstanding warrants.

    Here's the list of those arrested so far and the charges against them:

    1. Derrick Riley: Wanted out of Fulton County for Aggravated Assault.
    2. Eddie Bell: Wanted out of DeKalb County for Simple Battery and Robbery.
    3. William Cole: Wanted out of Florida for Violation of Parole.
    4. Lambert Williams: Wanted out of Bartow County for Child Neglect.
    5. Ray Lee Roberts: Wanted out of Bartow County for Violation of Probation.
    6. Ricky Hardin: Wanted out of Floyd County on drug charges.
    7. Robbie Davis: Wanted out of Bartow County on a Failure to Appear Warrant.
    8. Darrell Garrett: Wanted out of Bartow County on Theft by Shoplifting and Traffic charges.
    I'd be willing to bet that these fools were among those who the background checks to get rid of the "damned Mexicans taking our jobs" (I heard a construction worker muttering that about another contractor who had one of his Mexicans in Home Depot to carry crap).
    We're stuck in a bloody snowglobe.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Flixy's Avatar
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    What exactly is " Simple Battery and Robbery"... is that less bad or worse than advanced battery and robbery?
    Keep on keepin' the beat alive!

  3. #3
    Just Floatin... termite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flixy View Post
    What exactly is " Simple Battery and Robbery"... is that less bad or worse than advanced battery and robbery?
    Perhaps he bashed and robbed a simple person?
    Such is Life...

  4. #4
    A high school yearbook full of inspirational quotes seemed like a great idea, but it has turned into a controversial one for Easton Area High School in Pennsylvania.

    Seniors picking up their copies of the Rechauffe yearbook noticed one quotation that shouldn't have made the cut. The dubious quote landed on page 190 alongside gems from coaches Vince Lombardi and Jim Valvano.

    "And in the last analysis, success is what mattered," Adolf Hitler.

    School officials and some students doubted that someone with a Neo-Nazi agenda added the quote intentionally but rather the yearbook committee made an oversight.

    "I looked at it as an error -- as an oversight," said 11th and 12th grade principal Mike Koch. "It wasn't intended to be malicious. We pride ourselves on diversity at Easton High School, and it was one thing that just simply slipped by."

    With 288 pages and two to three quotes a page, Koch says the student yearbook staff saw the quote but didn't notice the author until it was too late.

    "I'm not thinking like somebody's trying to punk the yearbook," Koch said.

    This is isn't the first time a yearbook controversy has plagued Easton. Seven years ago, a racial epithet was spelled backwards under the picture of an African-American athlete in the yearbook.

    But this time students are leaning towards sloppy editing rather than intentional bigotry.

    "I don't think anyone would put Adolf Hitler in there on purpose in a yearbook," Alex Rubino said.

    "Our diversity is very strong so I believe it was just a mistake," Christian Bardales said.

    The message from school officials is that tolerance is taught in Easton High School and that one quote can't derail that message
    We're stuck in a bloody snowglobe.

  5. #5
    Hitlerhitlerhitlerhitlerhitlerhitlerhitlerhitlerhi tlerhitlerhitlerhitlerhitlerhitlerhitlerhitlerhitl er
    In the future, the Berlin wall will be a mile high, and made of steel. You too will be made to crawl, to lick children's blood from jackboots. There will be no creativity, only productivity. Instead of love there will be fear and distrust, instead of surrender there will be submission. Contact will be replaced with isolation, and joy with shame. Hope will cease to exist as a concept. The Earth will be covered with steel and concrete. There will be an electronic policeman in every head. Your children will be born in chains, live only to serve, and die in anguish and ignorance.
    The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.

  6. #6


    So since Hitler was a vegetarian (or pseudo-vegetarian, anyway), does this mean that not being a meat-eater is bad, too?

    Oh my, I think Hitler wore shoes. No one else ever can again, or they'll be Nazis, too!
    We're stuck in a bloody snowglobe.

  7. #7
    Hitler was also very much against smoking
    In the future, the Berlin wall will be a mile high, and made of steel. You too will be made to crawl, to lick children's blood from jackboots. There will be no creativity, only productivity. Instead of love there will be fear and distrust, instead of surrender there will be submission. Contact will be replaced with isolation, and joy with shame. Hope will cease to exist as a concept. The Earth will be covered with steel and concrete. There will be an electronic policeman in every head. Your children will be born in chains, live only to serve, and die in anguish and ignorance.
    The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.

  8. #8
    I'm sure schools will eventually offer plastic bracelets with WWHD on them - so everyone can remember to do the opposite of Hitler, no matter what.

    All the chain-smoking alcoholics will probably solve the Amerikan social security problem, at least.
    We're stuck in a bloody snowglobe.

  9. #9
    Federal investigators found piles of manure up to eight feet tall, live mice, pigeons and other birds inside the hen houses at two egg farms suspected of causing a nationwide outbreak of salmonella illness, officials said Monday.
    Investigators made public their observations of Wright County Egg and Hillandale Farms, two massive egg producers who have recalled nearly 500 million eggs since Aug. 13.

    Salmonella enteritidis is a bacterium that lives in animal intestines, is often present in feces and can be spread by mice, birds, flies and other organisms. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimate that at least 1,400 people have been sickened since May by eating eggs contaminated by the bacteria. It is the largest outbreak of the disease since federal officials began tracking it in the 1970s.

    During their inspection of the two Iowa farms in the past two weeks, FDA investigators have documented multiple unsanitary conditions that may have caused eggs to be contaminated.

    They found dead maggots and live flies that crunched under foot at Wright County Egg, where the FDA also documented a hen house bulging from manure.

    Investigators made numerous observations about holes in buildings or gaps in structures, which can allow rodents, pigeons and other animals to enter hen houses. On several occasions, investigators saw live rodents running through hen houses at both farms.

    At Hillandale Farms, laboratory tests confirmed the presence of Salmonella enteritidis in water used to wash eggs before they are packaged, said Jeff Farrar, FDA associate commissioner for food protection.
    In a written statement, Julie DeYoung, a spokeswoman for Hillandale, said the company was working to address the concerns raised by the FDA and restore consumer confidence. "Regarding the positive finding [of salmonella] in the egg wash water, it is important to note that after washing, all the eggs are rinsed with water containing chlorine as an additional sanitation step," she wrote.

    FDA officials said Wright County Egg and Hillandale Farms appeared to violate federal regulations for egg safety that took effect July 9, as well as voluntary industry standards for sanitation. Company officials have said they were in compliance.

    In a statement, Wright County Egg said the company was addressing the shortcomings identified by the FDA and is committed to making all needed repairs by mid-September.
    "Our team has worked around the clock to address concerns that were raised verbally during FDA's inspection, with many of those being fixed as soon as they were identified," the statement said. "To date, the vast majority of the concerns identified in the FDA report already have been addressed through repairs or other corrective measures. We anticipate the expeditious completion of nearly all remaining items by mid-September."
    FDA officials said Thursday that it was premature to discuss whether sanctions will be taken against the two companies, which have agreed to stop selling eggs until the FDA gives permission. Until then, they are shipping eggs to a processor where they are pasteurized to kill any bacteria and then used in liquid egg products or processed foods.

    Michael R. Taylor, deputy FDA commissioner for foods, said the agency will begin inspecting 600 egg-production facilities over the next 15 months to make sure they are complying with new federal rules.
    The FDA had never inspected Wright County Egg or Hillandale Farms, according to Farrar.

    "Obviously, something was going wrong here," said Erik Olson, deputy director at the Pew Health Group, referring to the conditions at the farms found by federal inspectors. "The question is whether we can be assured this is not the case at any of these other [egg] laying houses. I don't think FDA is in a position to answer and it just highlights how badly we need an inspection mandate in federal law. Until you have a cop on the beat checking if you've got compliance, things can go awry."
    America, fuck yeah
    In the future, the Berlin wall will be a mile high, and made of steel. You too will be made to crawl, to lick children's blood from jackboots. There will be no creativity, only productivity. Instead of love there will be fear and distrust, instead of surrender there will be submission. Contact will be replaced with isolation, and joy with shame. Hope will cease to exist as a concept. The Earth will be covered with steel and concrete. There will be an electronic policeman in every head. Your children will be born in chains, live only to serve, and die in anguish and ignorance.
    The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.

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