Shocking thread. I didn't realise oldmunchkin's situation and problems were so dire.
You should move over to England. The state would give you a fat council house rent free and with free healthcare too. All you'd need to do all day is watch TV and manage your dole money so that you could afford the finer things in life - Carlsberg Special Brew and Marlborough Lights. This is what a large portion of our populations seem to do anyway.
Alternatively you should go here and get some money: http://www.jerryspringertv.com/be_a_guest.php