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Thread: Your most embarrassing moment

  1. #1

    Default Your most embarrassing moment

    Two anecdotes:
    Me: somewhere in mid-elementary school, I'm guessing 3rd or 4th grade, with just a few days left in the school year, my mom asked me if I had any specific plans or goals for the summer (in hindsight, a good job from my mom to get me thinking at that age beyond the next day). My response was to use a phrase I'd heard my friends use, but which I didn't understand (or so I rapidly realized): "Naw, I'm just going to beat off." My mom chuckled and said I should look up the word "masturbation" in the dictionary. I knew I had mis-stepped and was felt awkward, but I turned bright red when I read the definition. Sexuality and your mom? Much less autoeroticism? I was so mortified. It was only in hindsight that I realized she had accidentally done me a huge favor, but rooting out that particular one. Its elucidation could have come in much worse circumstances.

    Somebody else (head second hand from about 3 different sources, who all agreed): About seven years ago, a job candidate in Biochemistry was about to give the standard job seminar in front of the department, after a day (or two) of sequential grilling interviews with faculty. He was a post-doctoral fellow on the job market. Apparently there were maybe 10-15 people in the big seminar room when he came in to set up. He plugged a flash drive into another person's laptop that was attached to the video projector, with the goal of dragging his talk powerpoint to the desktop and launching it. However, one occasionally comes across a computer that is set to automatically open pictures on a flash drive. Well. Apparently scads of hard core porn images proceeded to pop up, projected on the large screen. HARD core, I'm told. Apparently he frantically tried pulling out the flash drive and then just slammed the computer shut. He turned stammered, turned bright red, and left the room. He came in about ten minutes later with another laptop, the talk already loaded, and gave his seminar.

    He didn't get the job, but apparently he got a faculty position elsewhere. Still strikes me as a horribly humiliating scene. But he was fortunate that he came in early, and it was witnessed only by a few people, unlike the 100 or so typical for a full job talk.



    As an aside, has anybody ever noticed that the spelling of the word "embarrass" could be considered "to make oneself bare-assed?"

  2. #2
    I was something like seven or eight, and my uncle pantsed me.

    In front of my Grandmother.

    I've also done the old mistaking a fat person for pregnant one.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Crowheart View Post
    I've also done the old mistaking a fat person for pregnant one.
    Yeah, my wife did that ... to her thesis advisor. My wife started right after her adviser had had a baby, and even had to convince the adviser to take a student that year. When we showed up in Vancouver, my wife, always irrepressible, said "oh, when are you due?" forgetting that the due date was two months prior. So, some excuse, though the adviser was clearly put out by it. Nice start!

  4. #4
    Just Floatin... termite's Avatar
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    Most embarrassing moment was deciding to go for a new AFL team back in 1994 because they were from my home town, I told most people that I would in fact be supporting this new team.

    Then they announced their colours would be Purple, Red, Green & White.
    Such is Life...

  5. #5
    Spin it let's begin it. Angel_Mapper's Avatar
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    This was in middle school, 5th or 6th grade. In our biology class we watched a film about insects, including some really vicious species of ants in Brazil. I walked into my next class before it started, only the teacher and another student were in the room. I said "Well, I never want to go to Brazil" to which the teacher replied "I'd like you to meet our new foreign exchange student, guess where she's from?"
    Angel Mapper - Prometheus

    To have said goodbye to things!

  6. #6
    I was walking down a street that had a pedestrian crossing (zebra crossing in the UK, no lights, but cars have to give way) and as I was about to cross a car drove straight through. I put my arms in the air in a "WTF???" style moment when another car did the same thing. Then the third car that did it had the windows down with blokes leaning out giving me abuse. I then realised that all the cars were black... you can guess the rest.
    All those moments lost in time... like tears in the rain

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by xaero1 View Post
    I then realised that all the cars were black... you can guess the rest.


    Umm ... not sure if I'm being fick n that, but ... no ... can't guess.

    Was it a funeral procession? A ministerial motorcade? What?

    Whichever, you have the right of way over that crossing unless instructed otherwise by the police.
    Quote Originally Posted by Steely Glint View Post
    It's actually the original French billion, which is bi-million, which is a million to the power of 2. We adopted the word, and then they changed it, presumably as revenge for Crecy and Agincourt, and then the treasonous Americans adopted the new French usage and spread it all over the world. And now we have to use it.

    And that's Why I'm Voting Leave.

  8. #8
    Royalties?

    Not having lived all that long, I haven't gone through quite the same quality emberassments as most here. Walking in on your grandmother changing left me paralyzed for a moment though.
    Tomorrow is like an empty canvas that extends endlessly, what should I sketch on it?

  9. #9
    I wrote an SMS to a friend about another person, and then accidentally sent it to that person. I didn't wrote bad stuff, quite the opposite, and the other person was peased by it, but I could have slapped myself.
    "Wer Visionen hat, sollte zum Arzt gehen." - Helmut Schmidt

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Timbuk2 View Post
    Was it a funeral procession?
    Yep. I felt like a total dork.
    All those moments lost in time... like tears in the rain

  11. #11
    Hmmm. Pretty sure from a legal standpoint you have right of way over the zebra crossing. Be very suprised if you didn't.

    But from a reasonable/pratical point of view, best to let the procession past I guess.
    Quote Originally Posted by Steely Glint View Post
    It's actually the original French billion, which is bi-million, which is a million to the power of 2. We adopted the word, and then they changed it, presumably as revenge for Crecy and Agincourt, and then the treasonous Americans adopted the new French usage and spread it all over the world. And now we have to use it.

    And that's Why I'm Voting Leave.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Flixy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Timbuk2 View Post
    Hmmm. Pretty sure from a legal standpoint you have right of way over the zebra crossing. Be very suprised if you didn't.

    But from a reasonable/pratical point of view, best to let the procession past I guess.
    I think only military convoys count as 'one vehicle' (e.g. once the first vehicle passed you have to let them all pass), but I agree it would be best to let the procession past.
    Keep on keepin' the beat alive!

  13. #13
    Hmmm...let's see.

    Walked in on my parents while they were doing it. My mom laughed.
    I might have been 10 or 11. Was suposed to be "camping" in the backyard.

    I think the worst was when my mom found my playgirl magazines, which I stole from the local bookstore.
    I was to young to buy them, so we had two things to deal with. My dad asked if I liked guys, and I shrugged.
    My mom asked where and how I got them. I had to convince her I bought them.

    Crisis averted, she threw them in the garbage.
    I rescued them later.

    Another porn related embarasment...

    I was older and buying my gay mags from an adult bookstore.
    The same woman was usually working when I went, and she was nice and made me less nervous.
    Turns out she was a good friend of a girl I worked with. She came to bowl with us. I was a little panicked.
    She just winked at me.

  14. #14
    I've had so many embarrassing moments, it's hard to pick a #1. Probably first day of 8th grade, female related. Details don't matter much, but I hid in the girl's bathroom one entire class, trying to wash my pants and dry them at the hand-drier after all the girls cleared out for classes. It was horrible. I finally went to the office to call my mom, hoping no one noticed my pants were wet, but nobody was home. Yeah, this was pre-answering machine days. I was too embarrassed to go to the school nurse, she was a loudmouthed old battle axe. Luckily a friend of mine kept extra pants in her locker, and they fit.

  15. #15
    I was around 13-14 at the time, during a tour/experiential trip with my school to the local Uni campus, in one of the computer rooms I managed to wedge my hand in between 2 desks and it was stuck for around 20 minutes till campus workmen unscrewed the joints.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Lor's Avatar
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    - A game of charades with vast amounts of people, I was struggling for an idea on 'Electronic Goods' and so my brother said "Why don't you do 'Panasonic TV' and break down the syllables?". I thought it was a good idea until I acted out me using a 'Frying Pan' .... needless to say it was slightly embarrassing when I finally realised it looked like i was pleasing myself.

    - Walked in on my brother at a house party.

  17. #17
    One of my best embarrassing moments involved me playing cards with my mum, her friend, and my brother. I got about 4 bad hands dealt in a row and the final time declared that "this hand of cards is about as useless as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest". Instead of muffled laughter I got stone-cold silence from the table, then I realised that my mum's friend actually only has one leg....
    All those moments lost in time... like tears in the rain

  18. #18
    Senior Member Lor's Avatar
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  19. #19
    'Twas a sunny summer's friday afternoon, around 10 or 12 years ago, and I was heading to do a bit of shopping in the busy Kingston shopping area after work. I was walking to the pedestrianised shopping area after parking my car, and came across a young girl aged about 9 or 10 dressed in a school uniform. She was stood on the pavement (sidewalk) by the side of a busy, 3-lane one-way road there.

    I hardly gave her a second glance, but as I came to pass her, she called to me; "Excuse me mister?".

    I stopped and looked at her. She had one arm in a cast, and at her feet was a placard on a wooden pole, the kind used by protesters.

    "Yes?" I said, a little surprised.

    "Can you help me? It's my brother's birthday today, and I made him a Happy Birthday sign in school because I wanted to surprise him" she said, indicating the placard at her feet which was face-down on the pavement.

    "My mother is bringing him to Kingston in the car," she continued, "and they're due to drive past any minute. Can you help me hold up the sign?"

    She held up her arm in the cast a little limply and looked at me plaintively, implying that a wee lass of 9 or 10 with a broken arm couldn't hold up a placard.

    Before I could respond, she suddenly erupted and jumped up and down; "Quick! Quick! They're coming! They're coming!", and looked urgently into the busy oncoming traffic as if searching out a particular car.

    Before I had time to think or say anything, I leapt for the sign on the ground and held it up, not wanting to ruin the surprise, turning with the sign to face the oncoming traffic, an eager look of expectation spreading across my face.

    I looked at the passing cars, searching out a surprised young lad in a car with his mother, and was waiting to wave and smile, happy that I could help out. Lots of the people in the passing cars were smiling and laughing and pointing too, so I was thinking "This is great!"

    After a few brief moments, I couldn't see the young lad with his mother, so turned to ask the girl if they'd already passed, and had they seen the sign, or shall I keep waiting. The girl was nowhere to be seen! She had legged it!

    I searched frantically along the pavement, looking one way and the other, then spotted her in her uniform, standing looking expectantly at me about 20 metres down the pavement, a lady with a clipboard at her side.

    My heart sank heavily, realising slightly before my brain did that I had been had. This was a prank. I'd been sucked in.

    I raised my head slowly up at the sign I was holding, its message still facing out to the busy street and the masses of oncoming traffic, not wanting to know what it said.

    I
    LOVE
    WANKING

    The three words, in huge, black, capitalised typeface boomed down at me, screaming its message out at full volume at every passing car on that busy street.

    In utter panic my eyes darted around, catching laughing faces in passing cars, fingers pointing. The entire fucking planet was laughing at me.

    I dropped the placard facedown straight onto the pavement again as quickly as I could, and turned and marched straight toward the girl and the lady with the clipboard, not meeting the eyes of anyone else around me, embarassment exuding from my every pore, my face burning a rosy rouge.

    "I've been had, haven't I?" I said to the lady, and grinned sheepishly. "What is this, Candid Camera?"

    She smiled and introduced herself, said she was from Sky TV filming for a new show called Little Angels, which involved sketches filmed in public and using child actors, at which point she nodded at the girl in school uniform with the fake arm cast, who smiled at me happily and seemed to be having the time of her life.

    The lady asked if I would give my consent for the film to be used for the programme, which I did. I asked a little bit more about the programme and she indicated when it would be aired.

    I didn't catch every episode of Little Angels when it was broadcast months later, so I don't know if my moment made it out there, but certainly the show featured hundreds of unwitting members of the public sucked into embarassing pranks by child actors.

    ...

    This would be my most embarassing moment.
    Last edited by Timbuk2; 01-11-2011 at 10:20 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Steely Glint View Post
    It's actually the original French billion, which is bi-million, which is a million to the power of 2. We adopted the word, and then they changed it, presumably as revenge for Crecy and Agincourt, and then the treasonous Americans adopted the new French usage and spread it all over the world. And now we have to use it.

    And that's Why I'm Voting Leave.

  20. #20
    Aw, that's a good story, Tim! Definitely a thumbs up and a

  21. #21
    Senior Member Flixy's Avatar
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    Nice one, Tim

    I was err, pleasing myself once, and my neighbour walked into my room.

    And one time, I think it was my 19th birthday, I was pretty drunk and in a crowded bar. A rather cute girl I know ran up to me to give me a hug and congratulate me. I lost my balance a little bit and set my foot back to keep standing. Unfortunately, that was right where the floor went one step up, so I fell. And somehow spun so that I fell right on top of that girl. In the middle of a crowded bar. I think she was hurt a bit, too, and nothing ever happened between me and that girl
    Keep on keepin' the beat alive!

  22. #22
    My mom once caught me, member in hand and at full attention. It would have been embarassing enough for a 13 y.o. boy if that were the end of it. But, alas, the neighbors (two gay gentlemen) were with her. Then to make things even more uncomfortable, the three of them felt the need to ease my embarassment by explaining that masturbation is normal, just not in the living room in front of the T.V. That couch was replaced by the weekend, and the cable box was moved to my mother's room.
    The worst job in the world is better than being broke and homeless

  23. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by Flixy View Post
    I was err, pleasing myself once, and my neighbour walked into my room.
    Quote Originally Posted by rumrunner View Post
    My mom once caught me, member in hand and at full attention.


    I've actually never been caught having a tug, but can imagine the embarrassment.

    One time a good mate came over and we were on fugly.com or something similar looking through some photos. (We were in our teens at the time). At the moment a picture of a particularly lippy, dripping vagina came on screen complete with Predator eyes and features stencilled over the top, my mum walked in and caught an eye full. I was sooooo embarrassed and fumbled trying to turn the monitor off...
    All those moments lost in time... like tears in the rain

  24. #24
    Quote Originally Posted by rumrunner View Post
    My mom once caught me, member in hand and at full attention. It would have been embarassing enough for a 13 y.o. boy if that were the end of it. But, alas, the neighbors (two gay gentlemen) were with her. Then to make things even more uncomfortable, the three of them felt the need to ease my embarassment by explaining that masturbation is normal, just not in the living room in front of the T.V. That couch was replaced by the weekend, and the cable box was moved to my mother's room.
    Aw, must have made you feel horrible they replaced the couch?!

    I caught my son around that same age in the same awkward moment once.....thankfully there weren't others around. We still have the sofa.

    Recalled being around 10-11 yrs old, when I was a swimmer. The coach used me as a model, lying down on the pool deck, to illustrate backstroke arm motions. I didn't realize (until everyone was looking at my underarms) that I had a few long black hairs growing and needed to start shaving. Ack.

  25. #25
    Mom is one to overreact, especially when it comes to her only baby. When I told her that Becky was prego the first time she actually wondered how it happened. Talk about denial.
    The worst job in the world is better than being broke and homeless

  26. #26
    Senior Member Evidently Supermarioman's Avatar
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    When I was pretty young, I went out to a fancy Italian restaurant with my best friend and his family. The waitress arrived, and started taking our orders. When I ordered some pasta, the waitress asked if I wanted marinara sauce on it.
    I said "No thanks, I'm not legal yet!"
    I thought she meant Margareta sauce.
    I enjoy blank walls.

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