Have you ever been in a fight?

[Catgrrl]

Same here, I figured that since sibling squabbles are almost inevitable they probably wouldn't count in this particular OP question.

[Omega]

Do internet fights count?

[Timbuk2]

Only if they draw blood.

[Flixy]

Same here, I figured that since sibling squabbles are almost inevitable they probably wouldn't count in this particular OP question.

Same here. Thuogh I am still kinda proud that I hit my two year older brother a black eye when I was ~10

[termite]

Jeez I'm glad I re-read that Flixy, at first I thought you said you were proud for giving your 2 yearold brother a black eye - then noticed it was older...

[ANECDOTE]
I once had a fight when I was a much scrawnier 17 year old, the other guy was a man-mountain of about 25 years and basically I had fallen asleep half drunk at a party and this guy (slowie was his nickname) started hitting on my girlfriend. I heard him saying "Ditch that loser and come party with me" and A few similar comments, in my half asleep state I was pleased to hear her telling him to go away. Then I heard a stifled yell from my girl - I instantly opened my eyes and saw this great big man grabbing my girlfriend and she was struggling.

I basically saw red, I couldn't tell you exactly how it happened but I jumped to my feet, punched him (Back to the Future style ala Marty McFly's Dad) and it didn't even move him so I just kept punching him and the next thing I knew he had grabbed me by my upper arms/shoulders and lifted me off the ground! I thought "I'm fucking dead!"

For some reason he pulled me closer to him to say something and before he got a word out I head-butted him and spread his nose all over his face.

He dropped me, then he dropped to the floor and I saw my opportunity to leave and took it, grabbing my girlfriend we hit the road with some haste.

What happened next was surreal, the next day this guy called me at home (I was totally hungover) after he had hounded people at the party for my number. When I heard his voice on the phone I thought "Oh fuck this gorilla is gonna hunt me down and tear me limb from limb, I'll have to join the fucking French foreign legion to escape."

But no, he was calling to apologise - he wanted me to come back to the party (which was still going) and he reckoned we should shake hands and (get this) be friends.

I was shit scared but I thought fuck it and went around there, as I walked up the driveway he stepped out from behind the gate and I freaked - he was BIGGER than I thought and I already thought he was a gorilla so you get the idea. It was all I could do not to run away right then, but I kept walking towards him and that's when I saw his face - he had two black eyes and his nose was now a half smashed turnip!

He smiled (which made him look even scarier) and put his hand out, he said "I'm really sorry about your girlfriend, I don't think I should drink booze coz I always do something stupid." I was starting to see why he was called slowie...

I just sorta mumbled "Yeah maybe you shouldn't drink mate." He wanted to apologise to my girlfriend too but I wasn't about to bring her back there with this guy. He actually wanted to be my friend and he couldn't get over the fact that I (a skinny 17 yearold) had hurt him so bad.

I hung around just long enough to be cool and polite and then I left and never saw the guy (or most of that group of people) ever again.

[GGT]

That was a great story, termite.

[oldmunchkin]

Shortly after The Thing's daughter moved here, I came so very close to a nasty situation. This girl was wanting to sleep with SRB's boyfriend, and his mother (The Friend's ex-wife/current fuck.) thought it was a fine idea. She didn't like SRB at all, and she is actually a pretty likable kid.

Anyway, this bitch-wannabe slapped SRB around pretty bad. The Thing and I were at the truck stop having dinner, and in walks SRB and her boyfriend. (He was beat up pretty badly too, by this same wannabe.) They were both bleeding and SRB already had a black eye starting.

The house all this happened at is less than a block from the truck stop. When I saw these 2 kids, beat to shit, crying, and generally trying to be brave, I saw red. I developed complete tunnel vision and stormed out to find this bitch! I was already getting ready to kick in the door when The Thing pulled up and grabbed me and threw me in the car. Turns out this bitch was all of 16, meaning had I caught up with her I would have been charged with felony assault of a minor, felony battery of a minor, and most likely simple assault and/or battery because I was gonna take out anyone between me and her!

We took SRB to the police department to document her and her boyfriend's injuries, and to press charges. The boyfriend went to stay with an ex-stepfather for a few days, because the wannabe was still living at his Mother's home. When we went for the arraignment, she was allowed to move back in with the boyfriend's Mother, meaning neither SRB or her boyfriend could be there at any time. Time moves slowly, but court cases move slower in BFE! After about 4 months, she had broken her bond numerous times, so she was required to come back to court. At that time, the ex-stepfather took temporary custody of her. When we went for the sentencing, she had broken her bond and ran to South Dakota, where she has friends. A bench warrant was issued, but never followed up on...because of politics. Her father is a high muckety-muck at the prison here, so no one wanted to make waves! As far as I know, she has never been brought back here by the police, nor has she come to town on her own. I would still like a piece of the bitch-wannabe! She is of age now, so the felonies would go away!

The point of all that was to let termite know he is not the only one who gets focused on someone and that's all they can see. We all have our boiling point, drunk or sober it doesn't matter. His was his girlfriend being harassed, mine was seeing 2 kids beat bloody. I have learned to see the signs that I am getting that angry, and try to distance myself from the situation. Like I said, regardless who gets the worst of the fight, both of you hurt the next morning!

[Hazir]

Uh that story was really too confusing. İ think you really should drop the short cuts to describe the people around you and cut back on the word bitch. Now it's all just a blurr and i am not at all drunk.

[GGT]

She means: she almost beat up her ex-husband's 16 yr old daughter, who had beat up some young couple.

It's not at all like termite's story, who was 17 yrs old at the time of his fight.

[termite]

It's funny hearing you call it a story - it was an experience for me but I suppose when I tell it to someone else it does become a story.

I had one other fight when I was 17 - I was at another party and once again an older guy (27) decided he didn't like me and walked up to me, knocked my beer out of my hand, laughed and said "What are you gonna do about that".

Again, I saw red (I think its my Scottish heritage or something) not because he spilled my beer but because he clearly wanted to pick on a kid 10 years younger than him. He knew my oldest brother and I later found out that my brother had beaten him in a fight but at the time all I knew was some older guy was doing his best to goad me into hitting him - and he succeeded.

I must have thrown 10 punches but I was just a puny 17 year old kid and I could see I was out of my depth - next thing I know he's hitting me, hard, but I'm ok - it hurts but it isn't killing me.

A few guys step in and break up the fight, I was quite relieved because at that point it was pretty much even - BUT for some reason a friend of mine grabbed me from behind in a bear hug, pinning my arms. I don't know why he did this but he reckons it was to stop me throwing any more punches. Believe me I had no intention of going on with it.

The trouble is, nobody was bear-hugging the other guy, so while I couldn't defend myself he came in like a bat out of hell and pounded the shit out of my face - I reckon I took a dozen hits before my stupid mate released me and grabbed the other guy.

I walked home in a daze but when I woke in the morning I looked in the mirror and I didn't have a scratch or bruise on me. It's weird really because I've seen guys take much less punishment and be black and blue but I was unscathed. Maybe that is also a hereditary thing...

I had a really good laugh a couple of days later when I saw the other guy in a supermarket with a couple of bruises and some stick on sutures - he saw me and didn't make eye contact.

In both of these "stories" the other guy was a bully, older, bigger and stronger than me but guess what - in both "stories" I threw the first punch...

...a few years later I had the incident where the guy I fought was hospitalised and I swore I would never throw the first punch again - so far so good.

[Dreadnaught]

Based on all available information it sounds like you were a raging meth head.

[oldmunchkin]

She means: she almost beat up her ex-husband's 16 yr old daughter, who had beat up some young couple.

It's not at all like termite's story, who was 17 yrs old at the time of his fight.

No, The Thing's daughter and her boyfriend were beat up by some ignorant redneck woman who thought she was hot stuff and could bed any man she wanted. It made her angry when the boyfriend had no interest in screwing her, so she beat up The Thing's daughter. I was trying to go after her because she needed a lesson in life. But, like I said, we all have our breaking point...termite's was the dude messing with his girlfriend, mine was this creature thinking she could beat up 2 people and get away with it.

I vaguely remember being 17...of course that was about a hundred years ago! I do remember yanking a girl out of her car and beating the stuffings out of her. She intentionally t-boned my car, because she was jealous that I had a new one and hers was her sisters reject car.

I was kind of a wild child in my teens and early 20's. At that time, there were about 15 of us who kind of ruled that age group. We had nice cars, money in the bank, and a hella bad attitude! We weren't really a "gang", but about the closest BFE has ever had. Occasionally, I still get those anger issues, and want to take it out on someone. I have learned to walk away, thus resolving the issue.

[termite]

Based on all available information it sounds like you were a raging meth head.

Who me? Not my scene at all. I hate what that shit has done to some of the younger Aussie generation, seeing people fried on meth attacking other people at random is disgraceful - how you can get "sounds like you were a raging meth head" from either of the "stories" I told is beyond me.

In my first "story" an older, bigger and stronger guy was basically assaulting my girlfriend (she was 16 btw) and I did what I did more by instinct than anything else, I had been drinking beer and may have smoked a bit of pot back then but I certainly was no meth head - I doubt I had even heard of it. In the other "story" I was much drunker on that night and IMO that guy (also older, bigger and stronger than me) was just a piss weak bully deliberately targeting a drunk young kid because he thought he could get away with it and probably saw it as a bit of fun.

Don't get the wrong idea folks, I did NOT go looking for fights, nor did I get into many fights but the topic is "Have you ever been in a fight?" and the answer is yes. I chose to elaborate on that and share a couple of (to me) significant events in my past and I do not do that lightly - I have friends I've known for more than 10 years that have never been told those stories.

Perhaps the fact that I have not thrown a punch in anger for 20 odd years is more significant in this discussion than any assumptions you may wish to make about my state of mind as a teenager, because that is another story.

[Nessus]

Don't take it too into heart, Dread's one of those people who were born 45, he's not good with "youth lingo"

[GGT]

What an interesting thread this turned out to be!

Munchkin as the raging redneck with lingering anger problems, Dread as the city boy with smooth hands averse to physicality, termite as the Aussie brawny boy all grown-up, Nessie as the conciliator.....and that's just on the last page!



So it got me to thinking, not about fights I've been in but what fights I've witnessed. None. I can't recall watching any fight. A couple of tussles where guys wrestled for a minute or two, but no "fights" where punches were thrown.

However, I did date a Catholic boy who had a lot of other Irish Catholic friends. They were a pretty rough crowd, football guys. One time he brought his friend to my home in the middle of the night....after a bar brawl. They were both bloody and drunk, split lips, bleeding noses and swelling eyes. I was appalled. But they were laughing, and acting "proud" that they'd done more damage to the other guys.

I remember thinking how stupid it all was. Men acting as little boys. I resented that they came to me for "nursing care", waking me up before an early clinical. haha, they won their fight and woke me up to clean their wounds and apply butterfly sutures. Then they drove away (yah, I know) passed out in a drunken stupor to sleep all day, while I went to the hospital for school and work. Broke up with that asshole shortly after that, whew.

[GGT]

Well, it's late on a weekend and not many people are around right now. I've had a couple of rums so my inhibitions are low but I wanted to ask....

if any of you guys/boys/men have ever been in a Fight with your Father?

[Timbuk2]

I couldn't even argue with my father about anything serious, so no.

[GGT]

Would arguing with your father about serious matters be a precursor to a fight with him anyway?

[coinich]

Well, it's late on a weekend and not many people are around right now. I've had a couple of rums so my inhibitions are low but I wanted to ask....

if any of you guys/boys/men have ever been in a Fight with your Father?

Physical? No. Verbal? I tend to stay away from him when he/we get to that point. We both become very obstinate, and it will only go downhill from there. He's actually the one who calls me to patch up with my mother, who I'm more willing to cross the line with.

[Knux897]

I argue with my father about politics because he is the epitome of confirmation bias but it's never been anything more than that

[GGT]

No posts about fathers fighting with sons. That's good.

However, it makes me feel even crappier for my son, when his dad punched him in the face last Thanksgiving (09), and gave him a black eye that lasted for a week. He came home all twisted up inside, hung out in his car on the driveway for a long time. He was trying to hold it all inside. I finally coaxed him inside and hugged him tight, bear hug tight. He just fell apart crying and shaking in my arms. It was horrible. Absolutely eviscerating.

[Draco]

^^Wow that's pretty sad :/ Poor guy.

[Dreadnaught]

Who me? Not my scene at all. I hate what that shit has done to some of the younger Aussie generation, seeing people fried on meth attacking other people at random is disgraceful - how you can get "sounds like you were a raging meth head" from either of the "stories" I told is beyond me.

Don't take it too into heart, Dread's one of those people who were born 45, he's not good with "youth lingo"

Yeesh, I was making a joke, sorry.

***

GGT- Holy hell, that sorta makes me angry to hear.

[oldmunchkin]

GGT, your ex is an asshole! Was that your younger son, or the older one? If it was the younger one, I can't think of any reason an adult man would hit a teenager. Even if it was the older one, I can see no reason for an adult man to hit his son. Yes, I know some people feel it's a "rite of passage" or some such nonsense, to take on Dad. It just seems senseless to me!

Yeah, I'm the redneck who flies off the handle quickly. The thing is, as I have gotten older, I tend to use my voice instead of my fists. Like I said, even if I win the fight, I am gonna hurt like hell the next day, so why bother? Besides, if you are like me, you can hurt someone just as bad, if not worse, with words. I have been told that, when I get mad, I am very cutting and sarcastic and blunt. Most people don't like the blunt truth and most don't like sarcasm very much either. I can rip someone to shreds, and never get out of my chair. I have kind of calmed down with the verbal too, since it always gives me a hellabad headache!

[GGT]

Yes, my ex is a jerk. Older son (who didn't hit back, despite his reflex to do so....). Long story, not much worth hashing out here, but related to his match.com romance dramas and making sudden demands from both kids. Counseling helped somewhat, mostly for the younger boy.

Trying to turn a negative into a positive---both boys are learning how to control impulses, and channel frustration and anger appropriately. Without hitting or punching.

[oldmunchkin]

You are a good Mother, GGT! You recognized that your ex's lifestyle and choices was hurting your children, and got them to someone they can talk to. (Of course, your kids probably didn't want to talk to Mom, thinking it might hurt you to hear some of the stuff their Dad did/said to them.) It's also good that your boys are learning impulse control, I am impressed your son didn't just flatten Dad! That is sometimes such a reflexive action when you are being hit, that you have already lashed out before you realize who you are hitting. I hope your boys know that, regardless of what Dad says or does, none of this stuff is their fault. They sound like very nice young men! Kudos to you!

[xaero1]

I've been in a number of real fights in my 27 years on the planet none of which I've started.

These fights include being ganged up on by 3 or more people, twice. I can tell you something for nothing, there's absolutely nothing worse than being ganged up on and getting kicks and punches coming in from all angles.