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Thread: Coffee is the new fags

  1. #1

    Default Coffee is the new fags

    Coffee is the new fags

    COFFEE has officially replaced cigarettes as Britain’s addictive drug of choice, it has emerged.

    As it emerged that Britons spend around £6.3bn per year on the portable amphetamine-like hot drink, experts claim coffee is now doing exactly what fags used to do.

    Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Ever noticed you’re always ‘gasping’ for coffee, although it’s a blatant rip-off and you suspect it’s ruining your health in ways you don’t fully understand?

    “Also observe how it’s marketed to make you feel like a ‘connoisseur’ who cares about ‘blends’ and isn’t just a twitching junkie. Remind you of anything?

    “We all gave ourselves a massive pat on the back for quitting fags but really we just exchanged them for…liquid fag equivalent.

    “In another fifty years time, when it’s been medically proven that coffee makes your brain explode, only dinner ladies and alcoholics will drink coffee, standing out in the rain like lepers.”

    Coffee addict Tom Logan said: “I’ve got my own coffee machine at home, which is the modern equivalent of smoking roll-ups.

    “Yet I’m worried that coffee makes me sweat like a Mastermind contestant. Maybe I should stop. Can you buy caffeine patches yet?”
    What do you think?
    Quote Originally Posted by Ominous Gamer View Post
    ℬeing upset is understandable, but be upset at yourself for poor planning, not at the world by acting like a spoiled bitch during an interview.

  2. #2
    To my knowledge, you can't get 'secondhand coffee'. So, no.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by wiggin View Post
    To my knowledge, you can't get 'secondhand coffee'. So, no.
    Correction, you don't want secondhand coffee.

  4. #4
    Coffee is unproblematic* in reasonable amounts, the same can't be said about fags. Even a single cigarette a day has a negative effect on your health.

    But I have to confess, I am caffeine addicted. Not limited on coffee though.
    "Wer Visionen hat, sollte zum Arzt gehen." - Helmut Schmidt

  5. #5
    Perhaps the war on soda should broaden to include all sources of caffeine.
    Hope is the denial of reality

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by earthJoker View Post
    Coffee is unproblematic* in reasonable amounts, the same can't be said about fags. Even a single cigarette a day has a negative effect on your health.
    Not entirely certain the first clause here is true.

  7. #7
    Well you can take a look here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_effects_of_coffee

    Of course it has effects, but what doesn't? The question is what a reasonable amount is, that probably differs from person to person.

    Perhaps the war on soda should broaden to include all sources of caffeine.
    I thought the war on sodas is about sugar.
    "Wer Visionen hat, sollte zum Arzt gehen." - Helmut Schmidt

  8. #8
    What about the second part are you sure that cigarettes in reasonable amounts are bad for you, is there a certainty that 1 a week may not be good for you is there a certainty that whatever conclusions are in place now may not change in the future.

  9. #9
    Let sleeping tigers lie Khendraja'aro's Avatar
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    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gustav_...fee_experiment
    Quote Originally Posted by Asmodian View Post
    What about the second part are you sure that cigarettes in reasonable amounts are bad for you, is there a certainty that 1 a week may not be good for you is there a certainty that whatever conclusions are in place now may not change in the future.
    Doubtable. For instance, tobacco contains higher than average doses of Po-210 which, in addition to its heavy metal toxicity, is an emitter of alpha particles - and there's no safe dosage when you look at the stochastic effects of radioactivity. Not to mention that alpha particles inside the body are particularly nasty - that's why alpha particles are assigned a weighing factor of 20 whereas beta particles receive a factor of 1 when calculating the effective dosage of radiation.
    When the stars threw down their spears
    And watered heaven with their tears:
    Did he smile his work to see?
    Did he who made the lamb make thee?

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Asmodian View Post
    What about the second part are you sure that cigarettes in reasonable amounts are bad for you, is there a certainty that 1 a week may not be good for you is there a certainty that whatever conclusions are in place now may not change in the future.
    I know only few people who are able to keep number of smokes per week so low. Nicotine is one of the most addictive drugs. If you really can keep it so low, I doubt you get significant health problems from it.
    "Wer Visionen hat, sollte zum Arzt gehen." - Helmut Schmidt

  11. #11
    How many coffee drinkers do you know that are able to stick to only 1 cup of coffee a week?
    Hope is the denial of reality

  12. #12
    Senior Member Flixy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Khendraja'aro View Post
    Doubtable. For instance, tobacco contains higher than average doses of Po-210 which, in addition to its heavy metal toxicity, is an emitter of alpha particles - and there's no safe dosage when you look at the stochastic effects of radioactivity. Not to mention that alpha particles inside the body are particularly nasty - that's why alpha particles are assigned a weighing factor of 20 whereas beta particles receive a factor of 1 when calculating the effective dosage of radiation.
    Are you sure that's true? Not to dispute smoking is bad for you, but I am fairly certain that during my radiation safety course I was taught that dosage vs long term effects is pretty much linear - except at very low dosage since we simply do not know whether it's linear, whether it's more harmful, or whether there is a threshold you have to top before it has long term health effects.

    Oh and another thing that shows why it's worse to have it inside of you, lungs have a weigh factor of 0.12 where as skin has 0.01 for your effective dose, and alpha particles usually would not penetrate your skin.
    Quote Originally Posted by Loki View Post
    How many coffee drinkers do you know that are able to stick to only 1 cup of coffee a week?
    Quote Originally Posted by Loki View Post

    Quite a few, many more than occasional smokers anyway, I only know a handful of those (and tend to not smoke, but then more than one in one night).
    Keep on keepin' the beat alive!

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by earthJoker View Post
    I know only few people who are able to keep number of smokes per week so low. Nicotine is one of the most addictive drugs. If you really can keep it so low, I doubt you get significant health problems from it.
    I do I used to smoke a pack a day, I quit, then started again, then quit again. Now I have a rule, I never buy cigarettes when we are having a party I will usually smoke 1 or 2 with drinks. My wife smokes a pack a week and I will sometimes take a drag of her cigarette. It is actually surprisingly easy now I don't know why it was hard before, but most of the time when I think about smoking like now when I am typing this I have no urge to go and smoke even imagining myself smoking brings a feeling nausea but in the rare moment I want to I don't try to resist.


    Doubtable. For instance, tobacco contains higher than average doses of Po-210 which, in addition to its heavy metal toxicity, is an emitter of alpha particles - and there's no safe dosage when you look at the stochastic effects of radioactivity. Not to mention that alpha particles inside the body are particularly nasty - that's why alpha particles are assigned a weighing factor of 20 whereas beta particles receive a factor of 1 when calculating the effective dosage of radiation.
    The fact that that something contains an inherently harmful ingredient does not in itself mean the product can not be helpful, most medicine includes components that will have a negative effect on your health and yet we take it anyway because it also kills other things that have a greater or at least more immediate negative effect on our health. It is entirely within the realm of possibility that smoking a few cigarettes while killing you is also preventing something else from killing you faster. Obviously I do not pretend that this is fact or even that there is evidence to say that this is the case but I don't think it has been ruled out as a possibility.

  14. #14
    For example you might die of pneumonia, heart-attack or heart failure long before your prostate cancer and dementia take care of you
    "One day, we shall die. All the other days, we shall live."

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Loki View Post
    How many coffee drinkers do you know that are able to stick to only 1 cup of coffee a week?
    That shit can get expensive if you're not making it at home. We're lucky to pick up something from McDonalds or Starbucks that often.
    "In a field where an overlooked bug could cost millions, you want people who will speak their minds, even if they’re sometimes obnoxious about it."

  16. #16
    Let sleeping tigers lie Khendraja'aro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flixy View Post
    Are you sure that's true? Not to dispute smoking is bad for you, but I am fairly certain that during my radiation safety course I was taught that dosage vs long term effects is pretty much linear - except at very low dosage since we simply do not know whether it's linear, whether it's more harmful, or whether there is a threshold you have to top before it has long term health effects.
    Yes, there's some discussion about that. However, Po-210 is not the only bad thing in smoke and then there are articles like this: http://radiology.rsna.org/content/251/1/6.full

    I'd rather err on the side of caution, especially when you consider the absurd amount of energy one single alpha particle expends at a very short distance inside your body.

    Quote Originally Posted by Asmodian View Post
    The fact that that something contains an inherently harmful ingredient does not in itself mean the product can not be helpful, most medicine includes components that will have a negative effect on your health and yet we take it anyway because it also kills other things that have a greater or at least more immediate negative effect on our health. It is entirely within the realm of possibility that smoking a few cigarettes while killing you is also preventing something else from killing you faster. Obviously I do not pretend that this is fact or even that there is evidence to say that this is the case but I don't think it has been ruled out as a possibility.
    Shall I count up the other highly toxic and cancerogen substances also included in cigarette smoke? Fun stuff like hydrogen cyanide, formaldehyde, benzene and other organic compounds known to not be very healthy?

    It's not one harmful compound, it's hundreds of them. Sola dosis facit venenum does not apply here.
    When the stars threw down their spears
    And watered heaven with their tears:
    Did he smile his work to see?
    Did he who made the lamb make thee?

  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Loki View Post
    How many coffee drinkers do you know that are able to stick to only 1 cup of coffee a week?
    Quite some, one lives with me. I also was drinking coffee occasionally. But anyway one coffee a week is not really the number we are looking for.

    Quote Originally Posted by Asmodian View Post
    I do I used to smoke a pack a day, I quit, then started again, then quit again. Now I have a rule, I never buy cigarettes when we are having a party I will usually smoke 1 or 2 with drinks. My wife smokes a pack a week and I will sometimes take a drag of her cigarette. It is actually surprisingly easy now I don't know why it was hard before, but most of the time when I think about smoking like now when I am typing this I have no urge to go and smoke even imagining myself smoking brings a feeling nausea but in the rare moment I want to I don't try to resist.
    I also know one person that does that, all other smokers I know totally fall back again and smoke all the time, or they completely quit.

    The fact that that something contains an inherently harmful ingredient does not in itself mean the product can not be helpful, most medicine includes components that will have a negative effect on your health and yet we take it anyway because it also kills other things that have a greater or at least more immediate negative effect on our health.
    That's why you shouldn't use medicine if you don't need to.
    "Wer Visionen hat, sollte zum Arzt gehen." - Helmut Schmidt

  18. #18
    Humans are basically bodies and brains composed of chemicals and hormones, neurons and synapses, self-medicating, while trying to "moralize" about it all. We are a thinking species that really doesn't want to think too much.

    We use the same "moralizing" about prescribed medications vs homeopathic or 'natural' remedies. Hell, we can't even agree what's natural or not....especially when it comes to hormones and ageing.

    Since I'm an insomniac, I have the dubious distinction of late-night infomercial exposure. Testosterone supplements seem to be the latest craze. Men don't want to age naturally. They associate their prostate and pituitary glands with everything "manly", and all things are framed in sexual prowess.

    As a woman I find this comical but also hypocritical, and quite sad. For years I blasted the cosmetic industry for hyping youth, then blasted the medical (dermatology) industry for the same....because it was mainly focused on women (and their traditional vanity values).

    Now that men have joined the "youth" and vanity revolution, I'm not sure what to make of it all. Well, except that growing old, and ageing 'naturally' is losing its own value.

  19. #19
    I'm not sure I ever saw people approach cigarettes with the same fetishism as coffee. After all, does anyone here see "fair trade" packaged cigarettes for sale in your average deli?

  20. #20
    Sounds like you've never visited a Tobacco shop. There are plenty of tobaccos for pipe, cigar, or hand-rolled cigarette smoking. Some vendors tout their products as free-trade imports, locally grown, or pesticide-free. It's a huge industry, with hard core fans.

    You're not aware of it because it's not available in your routine NYC coffee or bagel shop, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. In my area, coffee vendors have started offering their product in tobacco shops....

  21. #21
    We may not be the cigar capital anymore, but yeah all that shit is a big deal down here.
    "In a field where an overlooked bug could cost millions, you want people who will speak their minds, even if they’re sometimes obnoxious about it."

  22. #22
    Senior Member Flixy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadnaught View Post
    I'm not sure I ever saw people approach cigarettes with the same fetishism as coffee. After all, does anyone here see "fair trade" packaged cigarettes for sale in your average deli?
    Apart from tobacco specialty shops (which are, at least here, very rare, especially compared to the number of places that specialise in coffee), I do know Lucky Strike has an additive free version (so probably also some other brands have that), but other than that, no.

    Smokers do tend to be pretty loyal to their brands though, and to be completely honest I don't see buying fair trade as fetishism to begin with so I'm not really sure what you are talking about.
    Keep on keepin' the beat alive!

  23. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by GGT View Post
    Sounds like you've never visited a Tobacco shop. There are plenty of tobaccos for pipe, cigar, or hand-rolled cigarette smoking. Some vendors tout their products as free-trade imports, locally grown, or pesticide-free. It's a huge industry, with hard core fans.

    You're not aware of it because it's not available in your routine NYC coffee or bagel shop, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. In my area, coffee vendors have started offering their product in tobacco shops....
    Fair point. We do have those places up here, but most of my friends smoke cheap cigarettes/pot/PCP and I'm a non-smoker so it slipped my mind.

    I guess the key question here is -- are dandy people who used to care about cigarettes cutting back and turning to coffee?

  24. #24
    Senior Member Flixy's Avatar
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    Coffee and cigarettes are a good combination, though!
    Keep on keepin' the beat alive!

  25. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadnaught View Post
    I'm not sure I ever saw people approach cigarettes with the same fetishism as coffee. After all, does anyone here see "fair trade" packaged cigarettes for sale in your average deli?
    Well you know it's like how coprophilia doesn't get the same treatment as normal heterosexual romance with hints of light BDSM except of course in copro shops.
    "One day, we shall die. All the other days, we shall live."

  26. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by GGT View Post
    We use the same "moralizing" about prescribed medications vs homeopathic or 'natural' remedies. Hell, we can't even agree what's natural or not....especially when it comes to hormones and ageing.
    Uh, just to clarify, homeopathic 'medicine' and nutriceuticals/natural drugs are two ENTIRELY different things.

    Homeopathic 'medicine' has no active ingredients, natural or not. They're placebos at best, hoaxes perpetrated on the gullible and unsuspecting at the worst.

    There are separately plenty of 'natural' remedies which are not scientifically proven to do much, but actually have real ingredients of potential applicability to the disease in question. There's plenty of problems with these as well - overdosing, wastes of money, potential interactions with drugs, misleading marketing - but these are far better than homeopathic medicine, which doesn't even attempt to have any actual, you know, medicine.

    </tangent>

  27. #27
    Quote Originally Posted by GGT View Post
    Humans are basically bodies and brains composed of chemicals and hormones, neurons and synapses, self-medicating, while trying to "moralize" about it all. We are a thinking species that really doesn't want to think too much.

    We use the same "moralizing" about prescribed medications vs homeopathic or 'natural' remedies. Hell, we can't even agree what's natural or not....especially when it comes to hormones and ageing.

    Since I'm an insomniac, I have the dubious distinction of late-night infomercial exposure. Testosterone supplements seem to be the latest craze. Men don't want to age naturally. They associate their prostate and pituitary glands with everything "manly", and all things are framed in sexual prowess.

    As a woman I find this comical but also hypocritical, and quite sad. For years I blasted the cosmetic industry for hyping youth, then blasted the medical (dermatology) industry for the same....because it was mainly focused on women (and their traditional vanity values).

    Now that men have joined the "youth" and vanity revolution, I'm not sure what to make of it all. Well, except that growing old, and ageing 'naturally' is losing its own value.
    Of course "ageing naturally" is losing its value. Very few people wouldn't want a few more years looking good / having more energy. I really don't get your "natural" obsession. You really are starting to sound like a full blown hippy.

  28. #28
    You guys are the best. The OP was a joke, an Onion-style spoof, but I love how it's sparking a serious discussion here.

    On a serious note then I never smoked and certainly never got addicted to alcohol, but I do drink a lot of coffee.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ominous Gamer View Post
    ℬeing upset is understandable, but be upset at yourself for poor planning, not at the world by acting like a spoiled bitch during an interview.

  29. #29
    Quote Originally Posted by RandBlade View Post
    The OP was a joke, an Onion-style spoof, but I love how it's sparking a serious discussion here. .
    ... because it warrants discussion ...

    ... not discussed the health implications of coffee here before ...

    ... plus, less people smoking and more people drinking coffee now is a fact ...

    Think the joke is that it's not really a joke.

  30. #30
    Indeed it hits rather closely to the bone doesn't it
    Quote Originally Posted by Ominous Gamer View Post
    ℬeing upset is understandable, but be upset at yourself for poor planning, not at the world by acting like a spoiled bitch during an interview.

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