What's messing with your Groove?

[Aimless]

I'm so sorry GGT

[Hazir]

Sorry to hear that GG

[Hazir]

Citrix

[Ominous Gamer]

Some of you overseas folks will get a kick out of this. This is just the first page from 1 of 3 separate bills from my kidney stone. I was in the hospital for maybe 2 hours before being sent home to pass the stone myself. Shit like for profit healthcare is why candidates like Bernie are so appealing for the next generation of voters.

[rille]

Some of you overseas folks will get a kick out of this. This is just the first page from 1 of 3 separate bills from my kidney stone. I was in the hospital for maybe 2 hours before being sent home to pass the stone myself. Shit like for profit healthcare is why candidates like Bernie are so appealing for the next generation of voters.

Haha...

Yeah, it's nasty.
I wonder what my 21 rounds of chemo (ABDV, DHAP, Brentuximab vedotin/Bendamustine combo, 21 days radiation therapy and an auto stem cell would have cost me...
I know the mean is somewhat around $150,000 for the later; but it largly depens on were in the world you do it... in India it's a 1/3rd?!

I have also done 5-6 PET-CTs these recent three years, just to relate.
(I have lost counts since I don't have to care about it... I support avoiding more if not needed...)

I recall a PET-CT is 2-3 times more expensive (usually).
Still... would expect something like $ 1,500-3,000, not $19,000 (?)
So are my google search incorrect or what is missing?
(I have googled some PET-CTs at $13,000!)

But you have insurances covering that? Isn't that the way to go?

[Ominous Gamer]

Insurance here is tied to employment and pretty much everything has moved to HDCPs. So you have to pay for and exceed a certain threshold before insurance will even speak to you about coverage. Even after that point you still have to help cover each charge. Because charges against insurances for treatment look like the bill I received. IIRC my employer recently passed a million dollars a year in insurance costs just to subscribe to the plan that they offer us.

From this one bill I owe about $4200. I still have to handle the separate bills from the ER doctor and the separate bill from the tech who ran CT machine

[Loki]

Hospitals found ways to game the system. More and more are being called lab fees, because insurance usually requires you to pay a set percentage. More and more doctors are effectively considered independent contractors, allowing them to charge a separate fee. The billed costs of procedures are unrelated to how much they actually cost the hospital and are based on complex formulas predicting how much insurance would pay. None of this behavior goes away with government-paid healthcare (in fact, lower profit margins will probably make it worse). You'd need government-run healthcare for that, and that comes with its own set of problems.

[Flixy]

A coworker who routinely cuts corners and despite that being pointed out regularly, never improved. Now we found out he screwed up a calibration in many ways. We had a meeting on what to do next (it has been used extensively since), where he mostly tried to find excuses (which to me is irrelevant - it went wrong and we should fix it and try to learn from it). And I got a distinct impression he wants top sweep it under the rug, which is wrong for multiple reasons. Now he went straight over our group lead top the manager to complain that I 'attacked' him.

I mean we work on medical devices, this kind of thing is serious, and he complains?

[GGT]

OG was treated at a "for profit" hospital during an emergency. That's a real problem with American medicine; not whether employer-subsidized insurance pays partial costs, or that hospitals have figured out how to game the insurance industry. Classic "prisoner's dilemma".

[rille]

#2nd re-organization at work this year.
I'm so damn tired of the mess so I have started to work on my cv again.

[gogobongopop]

My beloved cat died yesterday. She was 15 yrs old and had been ill recently, so it wasn't a total surprise. I knew she was living on borrowed time. Thought I'd prepared myself, but that's different from being ready.

I'm glad she was at home and died in her sleep, peacefully. She had a good life, and was so loved, like part of the family. It's hard to say goodbye

Sorry to hear that. Cats are the best.

[Khendraja'aro]

Some of you overseas folks will get a kick out of this. This is just the first page from 1 of 3 separate bills from my kidney stone. I was in the hospital for maybe 2 hours before being sent home to pass the stone myself. Shit like for profit healthcare is why candidates like Bernie are so appealing for the next generation of voters.

Yeah. I paid (and subsequently was reimbursed for it - private healthcare is weird in Germany) about 12,000€ for my kidney stone episode.

Mind, those 12K€ included:
- 3*3 days in the hospital in a one-bed room
- 4 micro-invasive surgeries under full anesthesia
- laser lithotripsie

The original plan was a mere 2 surgeries, mind. The first one to insert a DJ-catheter in order to widen the ureter and the second one to blast the stone apart with a laser and then pull out the fragments. Problem was that the stone had become attached to the kidney lining, hence the additional two surgeries.

[Kazuha Vinland]

So when I got my job as a physiotherapist August last year, I kinda had a bad premonition about the company. Turns out that premonition was 100% true, and that they are screwing me over completely now. It was a 50% position, where I was promised verbally that I'd be doing only physiotherapy related tasks. As it was promised by the daily manager that I would cooperate directly with, I figured that it was alright that the written contract didn't specify that. But I still found it a bit weird that the contract specifically states that the company at whatever given point, can change my assignments, location of workplace and time of work. So today, 6 months after, they just announced that they will be moving location 30 minutes to the west. New quarters, not that bad, I thought, despite the increased travel. Then I got pulled in to a meeting, where I was also informed that instead of working day time 10AM til 4PM, I will now be obliged to do shift work, 7 - 3PM some days, 3PM to 11PM others. That necessarily means I won't be home before until midnight. I'll also have to work weekends every third week, again not part of the original arrangement. To make matters even worse, they also completely changed the assignments - now my main obligations should be in the day care, cleaning, tending to, caring.. rather than actual physiotherapy. The latter will become more of a byproduct, in those cases that a customer additionally wants physiotherapy.

I sorta feel like this was their plan all along, but that they have kept their plans hidden from me all this while. It's a hard beating, as I have also been looking at buying an apartment with my girlfriend. Now those plans have been put on hold indefinitely. The timing of the meeting is also peculiar, as I coincidentally am done in the trial period tomorrow, so I have to decide immediately if I want to quit my job, or else I'll be stuck there for an additional 3 and a half months.

[Aimless]

So when I got my job as a physiotherapist August last year, I kinda had a bad premonition about the company. Turns out that premonition was 100% true, and that they are screwing me over completely now. It was a 50% position, where I was promised verbally that I'd be doing only physiotherapy related tasks. As it was promised by the daily manager that I would cooperate directly with, I figured that it was alright that the written contract didn't specify that. But I still found it a bit weird that the contract specifically states that the company at whatever given point, can change my assignments, location of workplace and time of work. So today, 6 months after, they just announced that they will be moving location 30 minutes to the west. New quarters, not that bad, I thought, despite the increased travel. Then I got pulled in to a meeting, where I was also informed that instead of working day time 10AM til 4PM, I will now be obliged to do shift work, 7 - 3PM some days, 3PM to 11PM others. That necessarily means I won't be home before until midnight. I'll also have to work weekends every third week, again not part of the original arrangement. To make matters even worse, they also completely changed the assignments - now my main obligations should be in the day care, cleaning, tending to, caring.. rather than actual physiotherapy. The latter will become more of a byproduct, in those cases that a customer additionally wants physiotherapy.

I sorta feel like this was their plan all along, but that they have kept their plans hidden from me all this while. It's a hard beating, as I have also been looking at buying an apartment with my girlfriend. Now those plans have been put on hold indefinitely. The timing of the meeting is also peculiar, as I coincidentally am done in the trial period tomorrow, so I have to decide immediately if I want to quit my job, or else I'll be stuck there for an additional 3 and a half months.

Sorry to hear it. This is where you talk things through with a lawyer at whatever professional union you may be a part of just to get a better idea of your options, and start looking for another job after looking up your rights wrt unemployment benefits (regular + ev. union-provided). Again, really sorry to hear you're having to go through this, and it must be immensely stressful, but it does sound like they're trying to screw you over pretty severely. Staying on for another 3 months is an option if the other alternatives are garbage and if you're both dead set on getting an apartment asap, but being unemployed with a new mortgage can be stressful. Make an informed decision, talk things through with your GF so that you're on the same page. Burn a few effigies of these fuckers but don't leave any evidence of the ritual

[GGT]

Watching the US devolve. This isn't what I'd expected when I chose to have children. Quite the paradox.

[GGT]

Other things that are counter-intuitive, but less important in the grand scheme of things: cooking for one. It's harder than it seems, and is ultimately an exercise in futility. There's no way to cook a decent chili, stew or soup for just one person. You can't give the food away, and freezing extra portions is a depressing reminder that you live alone, and will defrost/cook in the microwave.

I envy the cooking aromas that emanate from my neighbor's apartments -- it means there will be family meals, and lots of joy and laughter in eating together. I miss that as an empty nester. *sigh*

[Nessus]

Watching the US devolve. This isn't what I'd expected when I chose to have children. Quite the paradox.

There is no paradox, not really. You just chose the wrong side, as it were. Because America is Reaganland, isn't it? Fuck you, got mine chose the day. There is no happy end, no way out of Vietnam except through Peace with Honor, there is only the quiet solitude in knowing that I have the finest smart phone, that I have what those who lack desire. Nothing else remains, and that is what America was always about. To push others aside and stand on their bones.

What did you expect?

[GGT]

There is no paradox, not really. You just chose the wrong side, as it were. Because America is Reaganland, isn't it? Fuck you, got mine chose the day. There is no happy end, no way out of Vietnam except through Peace with Honor, there is only the quiet solitude in knowing that I have the finest smart phone, that I have what those who lack desire. Nothing else remains, and that is what America was always about. To push others aside and stand on their bones.

What did you expect?

Something better. The other side that wasn't about supremacy, or exploitation, or myths about self-sufficiency and what it means to be a "successful" human being. Hope is easier when we're young -- does it really matter if it's naivety or cautious optimism? Now I'm older and skeptical (bordering on pessimistic) because progress comes so slowly, and not always in the best ways. That's my impatience and disappointment talking. Not nihilism.

[GGT]

Nessus, maybe I was young, naive and easily influenced by the promise of America. I certainly wouldn't be the first.

Maybe the US really is just a big piece of shit with lots of money, hiding under the coattails of Imperialism or Colonization, but calls itself by other names that sound better (like Republic, or Democracy), and I've been duped...and passed a false hope onto my kids. Gee, thanks for reminding me that I failed at parenthood.

It makes it so much easier to forego their hugs and kisses. I don't deserve their affection.

[GGT]

It also pisses me off to hear religious preachers on the radio or TV. News Alert: God isn't listening. And we can't pray away our problems.

[Nessus]

Nessus, maybe I was young, naive and easily influenced by the promise of America. I certainly wouldn't be the first.

You were the marketplace whereupon Ronald Reagan, and yes even Richard Nixon, built their fortunes upon. You were the generation that had it all!

[GGT]

You were the marketplace whereupon Ronald Reagan, and yes even Richard Nixon, built their fortunes upon. You were the generation that had it all!

Just because I'm part of a demographic that benefited from an era (Nixon or Reagan) doesn't mean I support today's Republican party politics/policies.

None of us gets to choose our parents, or when/where we're born. But we do get to decide public policy -- presuming that's what democracies do -- and that's not just for money, economics, or political ideology but *people*.

That's partly why I'm so disturbed by watching the US devolve: I didn't vote for this crap. I've wanted Universal Healthcare since the early 80's when I was a young RN and saw the discrepancies by employment and income. And I've watched as monetary and fiscal policies have failed the average worker and future generations, year over year, decade by decade.

Maybe this time is different? If it's not, then shame on everyone. Including the younger demographics that don't vote.

[GGT]

My older sister, with advanced degrees in Medical Technology/Blood Banking and Quality Assurance (recently retired from J&J) just asked me to drive almost two hundred miles to come "hang out" with her (and her husband) during the pandemic. It would be more fun than me being alone.

On the other side of things, her 90 yr old mother-in-law is dividing time b/w PA and VA households, and they're still talking about where to go out for dinner.


Also, I'm having trouble getting news about my 93 year old ex father-in-law who lives in an Indiana nursing home.

[GGT]

My other sister in Indiana is sending funny gifs of cats being tired after just 2 days of "social distancing".

Human behavior + social context + political ideology *plus religious beliefs* = Cognitive Dissonance

[GGT]

The anti-abortion crowd is exploiting the covid19 pandemic for political purposes. Think of all the unborn babies who are killed! *insert restrictions* in the massive federal relief package.

[gogobongopop]

It's been nearly a year since I was diagnosed with mutated, stage 4 bowel cancer. After bowel surgery and 16 cycles of chemotherapy, here's a summary of things I've learnt, in no particular order:

• I’m so glad that I had critical illness insurance. It was a stressful process to go through but the final payout really helped with the mortgage.
• I’m so grateful that my employer provided private healthcare as a benefit. This meant two major things. The first is that I have access to a drug not available on the NHS. It’s expensive and significantly improves the efficacy of the other drugs I’m taking. The second is that I can have treatment and blood tests at home. I’ve only ever been into hospital when I’ve become really unwell or caught an infection.
• I’m so relieved that my employer provided income protection insurance. I haven’t needed to worry about money.
• Employer benefits are important. My employer also provides life insurance at 5x my salary. They have been incredible.
• A PICC line makes treatment and blood tests easy. It’s a pain to get used to, and shower with, but not needed cannulas or having pain from treatment has been great.
• Chemotherapy is horrific; at least it has been for me. It’s been far worse and tougher than I imagined it would be. I think I’ve been fairly unlucky with how my body has reacted to the drugs as it affects everyone differently. Having cycles at 2 week intervals is brutal and relentless. I have 3-4 during that time of feeling OK. I feel crap for the rest. Constantly fatigued, often nauseous, little appetite and a very unpredictable bowel.
• I’ve completely forgotten what it feels like to feel well and normal
• Constantly assessing how you’re feeling, whether you have a temperature, and whether you should take more anti sickness drugs is exhausting.
• My cancer probably isn’t genetic (I’ve had extensive testing) and probably not linked to my lifestyle (according to my oncologist). I was just unlucky.
• Going to hospital in an ambulance isn’t as exciting as I thought it might be. It’s bumpy, uncomfortable and much, much slower than you expect.
• I wasn’t convinced at the time that I’d still be here today.
• The goal for my treatment was to stabilise (not cure) the cancer cells whilst giving me a decent quality of life. This, so far, has proven to be an impossible balance to strike. I’ve too often opted for higher doses and shortened recovery breaks in order to hit the cancer as hard as possible, but this at times proved to be a mistake. Chemo drugs are toxic and cause lots of seriously nasty side effects; with a risk of permanency, and it’s mean that we’ve had to stop certain drugs and change regimes. It’s only on this latest regime, in which we’ve removed a drug entirely and reduced the remaining dose to 60%, that I think we might have hit the quality of life goal, but I still feel awful 4-5 days after treatment.
• I haven’t had a normal poo for about 10 months. I won’t go into detail, but don’t take a good healthy poo for granted!
• Happiness can be hard to recognise at the time. It’s true that it’s only when we miss things that realise what happiness is. It’s easy to take things for granted during the typical humdrum of normal busy life.
• I miss cycling to work. So much. I miss work. So much
• I’m glad I enjoy PC games. Being a WoW fan has certainly helped pass the time.
• Having chemotherapy means making any plans beyond 1-2 weeks virtually impossible. It’s hugely frustrating.
• Writing a blog and sharing it friends and family helps
• Joining online groups to ask for help and advice helps
• People are kind. The support we’ve been offered from family, friends, colleagues and even strangers has been incredible.
• According to my oncologist, excess consumption of red processed meat is the leading cause of bowel cancer. One slice of bacon is equivalent in risk to 4 cigarettes. I haven’t eaten a lot of red processed meat in my life.
• Sleeping pills help with the first few days of treatment when you’re suped up on steroids.
• I haven’t yet had any anti-depressants. I think saving them for when treatment stops will be a good call. I hope.
• I can’t imagine what my wife and children are going through; but they’ve all been amazing.
• It’s difficult hearing stories of cancer miracles and of those who beat stage 4. I’ve found it doesn’t give you hope, and it puts more pressure on you to attack with high doses and can make you feel like you’ve somehow failed or not been enough of “fighter”.
• Watching your body gradually losing its fitness is hard. The muscle in my arms have vanished thanks to my PICC line. My legs have become undefined thanks to the now sedentary lifestyle I found myself in, and my stomach has become flabby(er!). I know that’s not something I should really care about but it’s annoying after years of hard work.
• It took several months to accept that I probably won’t ever go back to work. This was a difficult realisation after I’d been trying so hard to find a way to make it work.
• A gaming laptop is important.
• Trying to get a good night’s sleep in an NHS hospital ward is folly. Accept that it’s not going to happen and nap throughout the day.

I think I’ve run out of steam. It was nice to write that down. Hopefully I can add to it when I get through another 12 months.

[Enoch the Red]

It's been nearly a year since I was diagnosed with mutated, stage 4 bowel cancer. After bowel surgery and 16 cycles of chemotherapy, here's a summary of things I've learnt, in no particular order:

• I’m so glad that I had critical illness insurance. It was a stressful process to go through but the final payout really helped with the mortgage.
• I’m so grateful that my employer provided private healthcare as a benefit. This meant two major things. The first is that I have access to a drug not available on the NHS. It’s expensive and significantly improves the efficacy of the other drugs I’m taking. The second is that I can have treatment and blood tests at home. I’ve only ever been into hospital when I’ve become really unwell or caught an infection.
• I’m so relieved that my employer provided income protection insurance. I haven’t needed to worry about money.
• Employer benefits are important. My employer also provides life insurance at 5x my salary. They have been incredible.
• A PICC line makes treatment and blood tests easy. It’s a pain to get used to, and shower with, but not needed cannulas or having pain from treatment has been great.
• Chemotherapy is horrific; at least it has been for me. It’s been far worse and tougher than I imagined it would be. I think I’ve been fairly unlucky with how my body has reacted to the drugs as it affects everyone differently. Having cycles at 2 week intervals is brutal and relentless. I have 3-4 during that time of feeling OK. I feel crap for the rest. Constantly fatigued, often nauseous, little appetite and a very unpredictable bowel.
• I’ve completely forgotten what it feels like to feel well and normal
• Constantly assessing how you’re feeling, whether you have a temperature, and whether you should take more anti sickness drugs is exhausting.
• My cancer probably isn’t genetic (I’ve had extensive testing) and probably not linked to my lifestyle (according to my oncologist). I was just unlucky.
• Going to hospital in an ambulance isn’t as exciting as I thought it might be. It’s bumpy, uncomfortable and much, much slower than you expect.
• I wasn’t convinced at the time that I’d still be here today.
• The goal for my treatment was to stabilise (not cure) the cancer cells whilst giving me a decent quality of life. This, so far, has proven to be an impossible balance to strike. I’ve too often opted for higher doses and shortened recovery breaks in order to hit the cancer as hard as possible, but this at times proved to be a mistake. Chemo drugs are toxic and cause lots of seriously nasty side effects; with a risk of permanency, and it’s mean that we’ve had to stop certain drugs and change regimes. It’s only on this latest regime, in which we’ve removed a drug entirely and reduced the remaining dose to 60%, that I think we might have hit the quality of life goal, but I still feel awful 4-5 days after treatment.
• I haven’t had a normal poo for about 10 months. I won’t go into detail, but don’t take a good healthy poo for granted!
• Happiness can be hard to recognise at the time. It’s true that it’s only when we miss things that realise what happiness is. It’s easy to take things for granted during the typical humdrum of normal busy life.
• I miss cycling to work. So much. I miss work. So much
• I’m glad I enjoy PC games. Being a WoW fan has certainly helped pass the time.
• Having chemotherapy means making any plans beyond 1-2 weeks virtually impossible. It’s hugely frustrating.
• Writing a blog and sharing it friends and family helps
• Joining online groups to ask for help and advice helps
• People are kind. The support we’ve been offered from family, friends, colleagues and even strangers has been incredible.
• According to my oncologist, excess consumption of red processed meat is the leading cause of bowel cancer. One slice of bacon is equivalent in risk to 4 cigarettes. I haven’t eaten a lot of red processed meat in my life.
• Sleeping pills help with the first few days of treatment when you’re suped up on steroids.
• I haven’t yet had any anti-depressants. I think saving them for when treatment stops will be a good call. I hope.
• I can’t imagine what my wife and children are going through; but they’ve all been amazing.
• It’s difficult hearing stories of cancer miracles and of those who beat stage 4. I’ve found it doesn’t give you hope, and it puts more pressure on you to attack with high doses and can make you feel like you’ve somehow failed or not been enough of “fighter”.
• Watching your body gradually losing its fitness is hard. The muscle in my arms have vanished thanks to my PICC line. My legs have become undefined thanks to the now sedentary lifestyle I found myself in, and my stomach has become flabby(er!). I know that’s not something I should really care about but it’s annoying after years of hard work.
• It took several months to accept that I probably won’t ever go back to work. This was a difficult realisation after I’d been trying so hard to find a way to make it work.
• A gaming laptop is important.
• Trying to get a good night’s sleep in an NHS hospital ward is folly. Accept that it’s not going to happen and nap throughout the day.

I think I’ve run out of steam. It was nice to write that down. Hopefully I can add to it when I get through another 12 months.

For what it is worth Gogo, this internet stranger is pulling for you and is wishing you and your family the best.

[Aimless]

Massive hug mate

[rille]

*hug*

I can relate to some of that but I had an extremely 'nice' Hodgkins stage 4 cancer so that helped me.
(might even be wrong to call it cancer but what do I know? I just hope it's gone or at least gone for many years)
I had a relapse, but after 22 cycles, 1 month radiation and a stem cell transplant I have been potentially cured.

It's taken me 2 years since my auto but now I'm finally working again and almost full time soon.
I hate the people that does the treatment and are back at work 3 months afterwards, how is that even possible?!

*~Economically stability and safety.
It's been really nice to know that in a worst case my family will be protected and can rebuild.

*Chemotherapy is horrific; at least it has been for me.
I hate the people that claim it's not that bad and can go to the gym without worries. I had several infections etc. while on it and we were very carefull at home!
By the time it's 'almost' ok it was time for the next round. At best I was capable of walking pretty far but that was pretty much it.

*Seeing your body change.
Bloody frustrating. I'm extremely lucky so this much time afterwards I have been trying to rebuild but it's difficult and will never be the same.
I have plenty of collegues that simple think healthy is in the visual and I don't look all that bad so I must be fine.
It's just extremely annoying. :P But my goal is to be well trained guy at 40+ from now on.

*Guilt towards family.
and also guilt on how to repay or make it fair.
The lesson learnt is that humans will always be humans and we all got needs, even if different.

*Groups online / FB groups.
For me the groups in the U.S. has been citical in order to know what the possibilities are and to get in contact with other people.
Sweden got nice health care but we lag behind top notch treatments by 2-5 years, probably while seeking evidence that it's worth it.
I left the groups after I had been possible 'cured' but I later joined a Swedish one, I try to help out when new people have questions.

*A gaming laptop is important.
Yes, as long as it is possible to use it. I remember just sitting on the floor with it and other weeks it took days after chemo before I could focus!


*Trying to get a good night’s sleep in an NHS hospital ward is folly. Accept that it’s not going to happen and nap throughout the day.
Pretty much so. Also that dreaded breakfast. In the end I could barely eat it.


I fear I'll forget soon how it was to be sick for real and all things I should have learnt will be forgotten.
And then I'll just continue life as before. I try to take more risks.

I know it might not be for you, I had a Port-a-cath instead of a PICC line.
That made bathing possible (at home) witout problems and it wasn't that visible etc.
I have a few scars left and some strange blood/fat formation under the skin, but I'll consider that as a tatoo.

My kids cusins mother just had news of incurable breast cancer (she did treatment 5 years ago and it looked good until she started to get problems again)
so she will go on mainteance treatments as long as possible. I don't know how bad it is, it's not something you ask just like that.
My brother in law has economical problems as well as mental illness and he tried to kill himself last summer.
At any rate he can't be the father he needs to be so in a worst case I'll have to provide for two more kids in the future. I hate cancer.

[GGT]

After reading the cancer posts from Gogo and rille, I feel bad complaining about anything.