What's messing with your Groove?

[GGT]

I feel like I should write a Letter to My Children, apologizing for the current affairs (crises) they're facing. But it would start with explaining how my parents and grandparents and great grandparents (etc.) made mistakes in their own time, which sounds like punting the responsibility/accountability angle that I hated when I was a kid myself. Back when I had youth's idealism and hope, and Great Expectations. It seemed easier when we didn't know what we didn't know, ya know?

I have to remind myself that my kids grew up in the internet age, The Information Age, where everything changes in an instant. I tried to teach them that *real* change is a slow and arduous process. When they thought I was an old geezer who couldn't keep up with the pace of technology (because I didn't have the latest iPhone), or a luddite (because I rejected Facebook and "social media"), I hope they didn't think I was totally clueless about the world they were growing up in....or how hard it's been for them to make sense of everything.

When I was a little girl and the world was on the brink of Nuclear War....all I needed was my mom singing a bedtime lullaby, and telling me that "everything would be okay", and I believed it. That's when we hid under our school desks in the event of Nuclear fallout *we even practiced that like fire drills* and thought that would make us safe.

[rille]

GGT... what?! ��

[GGT]

Well, this pandemic got me thinking about lots of things. Even the possibility that I might get infected with Covid-19 and end up in ICU (or a hallway) struggling to breathe. No visitors allowed. Saying goodbye to my kids on Facetime, dying alone. Morbid but realistic.

I was an ICU nurse and critical care manager for years, but we never had to exclude family members from patients' death beds. I used to be the one calling family members to their bedside. Now I have nightmares that I'm screaming but no one can hear me, and I can't hold hands with my sons as I lay dying.

Writing a Letter to My Children sounds like a good idea, but I just can't do it because it sounds too much like a suicide note.

[rille]

Duty is heavier than a mountain; death is lighter than a feather.

In panic I wrote a page to each family memember.
Now I don't know the location of those pages.

When I die I think I'll mostly accept that there isn't much to do about it and the kids will carry on one way or another anyhow.
You can shape them a bit but in the end life is their story to write.

[GGT]

Thanks, rille

I probably wouldn't have posted my morbid thoughts in this thread if the "When You Die" thread hadn't died.

[rille]

Haha!

Does it make any sense that I miss dying?
Now I have to try to live again.

Edit: ...and of course that is stupid.

[Aimless]

I'm in the process of writing some letters. It'll give me some peace of mind. My aunt died of covid a couple of weeks ago, and the worst thing was that this wonderful, caring person—who'd done everything in her power to be there for those she loved in their time of need—was so alone when her own time came, because of understandable but painful restrictions on visiting at the hospital.

[GGT]

I'm so sorry about your aunt, minx.

There's got to be a way at least ONE special person can suit up in PPE (like the caregivers do) and be at their loved ones' death bed. I hope those hospital/nursing home policies will change. Virtual Reality just doesn't cut it.

[GGT]

It hurts my soul that my kids can't pursue their dream jobs in food or music, because the covid-19 exposed all the flaws in the US economy.

It also killed a part of my soul that one son in NC (who made the brave move to transfer out-of-state for career opportunities) had a worse experience than the son who stayed in PA, due to differences in state unemployment benefits. Now the younger, braver son is moving back home...giving up a part of his dream -- independence -- because he's seen the writing on the wall, and realized that Freeee Markets doesn't mean Freeedom at all. It's just so wrong on so many levels.

I don't know what will happen to the restaurant/tourism/hospitality/leisure sectors, or the millions of people who work in those industries but now can't find a job, including my sons. I used to tell them they could do anything they wanted....but I was wrong.

"Hobson's choice", huh.

[Kazuha Vinland]

It hurts my soul that my kids can't pursue their dream jobs in food or music, because the covid-19 exposed all the flaws in the US economy.

It also killed a part of my soul that one son in NC (who made the brave move to transfer out-of-state for career opportunities) had a worse experience than the son who stayed in PA, due to differences in state unemployment benefits. Now the younger, braver son is moving back home...giving up a part of his dream -- independence -- because he's seen the writing on the wall, and realized that Freeee Markets doesn't mean Freeedom at all. It's just so wrong on so many levels.

I don't know what will happen to the restaurant/tourism/hospitality/leisure sectors, or the millions of people who work in those industries but now can't find a job, including my sons. I used to tell them they could do anything they wanted....but I was wrong.

"Hobson's choice", huh.

That's when you need stubbornness. Their timing might have been unlucky, but that does not mean it was a once in a lifetime chance. The economy will rise again, and if anything, they should value the experience they got searching for a line of work, and how to approach more cleverly, more directly next time around.

I am in a similar phase. In a head lock so to speak. I have a 50% position as a physiotherapist, and 50% as a salesman at an electronics store. I've educated myself to become a physiotherapist, spent 6 years doing so in total. Yet my current line of work is failing me in every regard. I get paid less than the companies across the street, I hardly get to practice my expertise whatsoever, and have tasks that are nowhere related to what I was hired to do. At the same time, getting a job somewhere else is almost impossible. I cling to the notion that it is just almost impossible, but I also have the dilemma that I am now being offered a leader position at the electronics store. If I chose to accept it, I will have turned "almost" to "absolutely certainly" impossible in terms of getting a good job position again within physiotherapy. I don't see myself loving the sales job in 20 years, but I probably would the next 1-2 years. Frankly, haven't got a clue if I should rock the boat or not.

[Flixy]

Could you take the position part time, so you can still practice physiotherapy on the side? That might keeps the options open in the future when there may be more options getting a job somewhere else.

[Aimless]

If I chose to accept it, I will have turned "almost" to "absolutely certainly" impossible in terms of getting a good job position again within physiotherapy.

I'd start by critically examining this assumption.

Btw Sweden is gonna need a LOT of physiotherapists soon

[Kazuha Vinland]

Could you take the position part time, so you can still practice physiotherapy on the side? That might keeps the options open in the future when there may be more options getting a job somewhere else.

Afraid that's not an option. It's a position with way too much to do, even if its full time. :P

Moving is also not an option I'm afraid, as I live with my girlfriend and own an apartment we just bought this year.

In the end, I figure I'll take the job, as it's challenging myself, and I don't want to be one of those people who always wondered if they would manage to go down such a route, if they tried. I am not passionate about physiotherapy, to be honest. I am passionate about electronics and managing. So maybe it's not as much prestige, but I might end up liking it more.

[Aimless]

Do it

[Being]

Somebody installed Skype on 3 of my windows 10 machines without my prior knowledge. Running on startup in the background. Could it be Windows Update??

[Kazuha Vinland]

Do it

Sigh, everything has been running downhill rapidly since then. We have gotten a new store manager, who is a complete polar opposite of my two previous managers. I was very happy with managers who tried to facilitate and create harmony, and have inner motivation be the main driver of performance. The new one is a complete egomaniac. He literally believes to have the best answer to everything, and comes bursting through each department demanding radical change, without speaking to anyone about the reasoning behind current solutions. He also is extremely demanding towards everyone, where even a tiny slip up in performance, gets him really furious and venting. We have two of our most senior and best performing employees leave our team to pursue studies, and have to start a clean sheet with new fresh recruits. I made a 6-month presentation on budgeting and how I figure we will be doing, taking this into account. I basically presented to him, that through various strategies, I hoped we would be able to keep our levels, or maybe get a 5% improvement over last year. He, on the other hand, demanded a 2% clearance down to 2nd place among all the stores (there are 145 stores nationally, and we've consistently only been close to top 5 even with our now prior top sales men working full time). I tried to argue that this was not realistic out of the gates, as firstly, I need to train the new employees, and secondly, its impossible to accurately portray the future with Amazon entering our markets, and covid-19 increases as well. I tried to instead focus on things that would improve us, regardless of the competition, but to that, he wasn't at all interested.

So the current situation is. While our results have been temporarily buffed from having a new manager, half the staff in operations, sales and lower level management, are now considering leaving due to the toxic work environment. Yesterday he took away the chairs of the cashiers, because he thought it "unprofessional" not to stand. I, as a physiotherapist, wouldn't wish anyone to be forced to be standing in one spot for 8 hours. It's frankly ridiculous. He also snaps at employees to get their attention, which I find extremely rude and condescending. He himself is the first man out of office, once his work hours is past, and doesn't even follow his own strict rules.

[Aimless]

Yikes, what an absolute shit-sandwich. Sorry about the setback and hope that clown's tenure is short-lived (or that you find something better before long, if it comes to that).

[rille]

Sigh, everything has been running downhill rapidly since then. We have gotten a new store manager...

In the tech world we see them come and go.
They want to inprint but almost end ruining the company.

Sadly, they get greatly rewarded for this while we continue!

Karma doesn't exist in the real world but you will at least live to see him fired. (indirectly or not)

[Flixy]

Sigh, everything has been running downhill rapidly since then. We have gotten a new store manager, who is a complete polar opposite of my two previous managers. I was very happy with managers who tried to facilitate and create harmony, and have inner motivation be the main driver of performance. The new one is a complete egomaniac. He literally believes to have the best answer to everything, and comes bursting through each department demanding radical change, without speaking to anyone about the reasoning behind current solutions. He also is extremely demanding towards everyone, where even a tiny slip up in performance, gets him really furious and venting. We have two of our most senior and best performing employees leave our team to pursue studies, and have to start a clean sheet with new fresh recruits. I made a 6-month presentation on budgeting and how I figure we will be doing, taking this into account. I basically presented to him, that through various strategies, I hoped we would be able to keep our levels, or maybe get a 5% improvement over last year. He, on the other hand, demanded a 2% clearance down to 2nd place among all the stores (there are 145 stores nationally, and we've consistently only been close to top 5 even with our now prior top sales men working full time). I tried to argue that this was not realistic out of the gates, as firstly, I need to train the new employees, and secondly, its impossible to accurately portray the future with Amazon entering our markets, and covid-19 increases as well. I tried to instead focus on things that would improve us, regardless of the competition, but to that, he wasn't at all interested.

So the current situation is. While our results have been temporarily buffed from having a new manager, half the staff in operations, sales and lower level management, are now considering leaving due to the toxic work environment. Yesterday he took away the chairs of the cashiers, because he thought it "unprofessional" not to stand. I, as a physiotherapist, wouldn't wish anyone to be forced to be standing in one spot for 8 hours. It's frankly ridiculous. He also snaps at employees to get their attention, which I find extremely rude and condescending. He himself is the first man out of office, once his work hours is past, and doesn't even follow his own strict rules.

Sorry to hear, having a shitty manager sucks. Hope he is out soon.

My team lead has also just lead to one of my coworkers quitting, and while my department manager seems OK (he replaced my shitty previous department manager), due to reorganization he is also on his way out. And earlier this year already arguably the top performing coworker left, partially because of my shitty team lead (and partially due to shitty coworkers). I'm also seriously considering leaving as soon as I have any other opportunity.

Oh, not to mention that the reorganization is due to one of the business leads here being an piece of shit, who cares only about timelines and wants to get rid of anyone who asks critical questions. And then they wonder why quality is slipping and turnover is so high..

[GGT]

Feeling old. Realizing that when I share my life experiences on this forum, it's like the Auntie that's not taken seriously, but just tolerated in a patronizing sort of way.

Rather hard to believe that I've been posting/talking with you guys for over 15 years (including the Atari forums), when some of you were just teenagers or young adults who hadn't seen your 21st or 30th birthday yet, but I still felt like a youngish woman in my 40's.

Now that my own sons are approaching their 25th and 30th birthdays....well, I can't explain it, but if feels weird to be in my 60's and still posting here, looking forward to your comments and opinions. I used to think age didn't matter, but now I wonder if that's true and real. Because I'm feeling old.

[rille]

I work with a coder in her 60+.
It feels refreshing to be reminded that I’m not that old.

[Aimless]

Feeling old. Realizing that when I share my life experiences on this forum, it's like the Auntie that's not taken seriously, but just tolerated in a patronizing sort of way.

Rather hard to believe that I've been posting/talking with you guys for over 15 years (including the Atari forums), when some of you were just teenagers or young adults who hadn't seen your 21st or 30th birthday yet, but I still felt like a youngish woman in my 40's.

Now that my own sons are approaching their 25th and 30th birthdays....well, I can't explain it, but if feels weird to be in my 60's and still posting here, looking forward to your comments and opinions. I used to think age didn't matter, but now I wonder if that's true and real. Because I'm feeling old.

Sometimes it matters, oftentimes it does not. We all have different backgrounds and perspectives, and age constitutes just one dimension of that. I dunno, many of the people with whom I chat and/or hang out regularly are older than I am by several decades, but it never really crosses my mind... they just feel like people. Anyway, hope the feeling passes soon. Everyone here is mega-weird, so don't let that make you feel like you don't belong

[Hazir]

So I decided to buy a car. Which I probably should have come up with a month or so ago, but I didn't. Which means; I don't actually have money available to buy. But, I want a particular car, and the dealer very much wants me to pay €12.500,- for. So, I decide to get a bank loan. Do an online application at the exact same bank that gave me the mortgage which I paid off only weeks ago. I scan the documents they request and fill out the wanted information. Information that - as it turns out fatally - contains the information that my costs for mortgage payments are €0,-. Based on what I read I expect to be approved within 24 hours and have the money to pay for the car. Two days later, I see an e-mail from the bank which tells me that I should submit a better copy of my ID, AND my tax filings for the last three years and a complete copy of my latest bankstatement (all 8 pages) in order to prove that I, indeed, have no mortgage payments. Let me remind you, this is from the bank that held the mortgage only weeks before. Somehow I became not only a stranger in their files, but also someone with a dodgy credit. I paid back €128k to them in little over 4 years but now they wouldn't trust me with a lousy €12,5. Half an hour on the phone didn't change anything in their position.

So, I decided to look for a less tedious source of money. Because, yes, I really wanted that car. Come in a good friend of mine and my youngest sister. Both of them turn out to be willing to borrow me the needed money. I decide to go with my sister. In the meanwhile Ronald and I start doing what I call 'look under the sofa cushions'. This results in a bit of a surprise. In a cardboard box we know to contain 'some stuff' that might 'be worth something' we find a bar of silver (1kg) and 15 gold coins that each contain 6.05 grams of gold. So that's 90.75 grammes of gold worth roughly €4.800,- Each coin is worth around €320.-

Now, I know how that works in Istanbul; you take your coins to an exchange office where they will post a price for selling (usually a little under the value) and a price for buying (usually a little over the value). The margin is similar to what you expect with foreign currencies. Many places would even accept the coins outright as payment. Here in Amsterdam it's entirely different. First of all there are hardly any places that trade in physical gold so you really have to look hard. But then the real shocker comes; these places buy gold at outrageously depressed prices. The very very best I have found so far is a trader who will pay €298,- per coin. A good €22,- under value per coin.

I know, it's a silly problem, I could have been sensible and waited a couple of months to set aside money. And I shouldn't really complain about finding around €5.000,- that we'd pretty much forgotten about. But still, it's really messing with my groove.

[wiggin]

You just had 90 g of gold and 1 kilo of silver kicking around in a shoebox?

You and I have very different lives.

[Hazir]

You just had 90 g of gold and 1 kilo of silver kicking around in a shoebox?

You and I have very different lives.

Yeah we did; and I really don't know how we forgot about them. I was acutely aware of there being 2 turkish gold coins in a drawer. Having something like that around the house isn't a bad thing though, is it?. I used to read a lot about WW II, and never got rid of the feeling that life as we know it is awfully breakable. A sentence that stuck with me over the decades was from a second-generation camp survivor which translates at 'my parents always had a fully packed suitcase ready, just in case..'.

[Ominous Gamer]

My sister has found gold and silver bars several times when dumpster diving. Most of them were the size of Beskar bars from The mandalorian, not the giant ones you usually think of when someone says gold bar. She usually flips them on eBay cause she doesn't want to hassle with getting them verified or appraised

[Hazir]

My sister has found gold and silver bars several times when dumpster diving. Most of them were the size of Beskar bars from The mandalorian, not the giant ones you usually think of when someone says gold bar. She usually flips them on eBay cause she doesn't want to hassle with getting them verified or appraised

Seems like there are more people like us. Your sister is very lucky finding gold and silver in those quantities.

[Aimless]

It's not uncommon among SEA and Middle Eastern immigrants here in Sweden. The amount varies greatly ofc, but among working class immigrants from certain regions I would expect to see investments in gold (kept at home) more than in any other type of asset. Especially when it comes to people who've been refugees.

[Hazir]

It's not uncommon among SEA and Middle Eastern immigrants here in Sweden. The amount varies greatly ofc, but among working class immigrants from certain regions I would expect to see investments in gold (kept at home) more than in any other type of asset. Especially when it comes to people who've been refugees.

In Turkey inflation has been so fierce in the nineties (and it's picking up again these days) that who can afford it has gold at home. Money simply isn't trusted quite as much. Either in or out of the bank.

[rille]

I usually joke about my wifes jewelry. ��
When the Russians attack it could be nice to have on the run.