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Thread: What's messing with your Groove?

  1. #91
    Senior Member Lor's Avatar
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    The following text message from a friend = epic fail.

    "HP recommended that you only use HP products in their printers. Well i just put HP sauce in my inkjet and i blew the fucker up".


  2. #92
    Junior Member Trooper's Avatar
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    Ha!

    I got a counterfeit £20 note from a cash machine last night!

  3. #93
    On my way home from work, I briefly saw a beautiful woman in the train. She had large, green eyes, she was thin, slender, graceful, and had perfect skin. Her hair was neatly arranged, and her attire was tasteful. All in all, a very mundanely beautiful person.

    As the train was coming to a stop, we were standing side by side. She must've put her gloves on at this point, for I remember noticing the well-endowed diamond ring. The doors swung open, and we both reached for the hand rail to assist in our descent from the carriage. For a very brief moment, the tip of my pinky finger brushed her hand. As she moved her hand away and we stepped down to the platform, the realization dawned on me, with some gravity, that this tiny, unremarkable incident was the first time I had touched, or been touched by, another human being in quite some time.

    Hell is other people, of that one can be certain, but their absence, as well, may sometimes seem grave.
    In the future, the Berlin wall will be a mile high, and made of steel. You too will be made to crawl, to lick children's blood from jackboots. There will be no creativity, only productivity. Instead of love there will be fear and distrust, instead of surrender there will be submission. Contact will be replaced with isolation, and joy with shame. Hope will cease to exist as a concept. The Earth will be covered with steel and concrete. There will be an electronic policeman in every head. Your children will be born in chains, live only to serve, and die in anguish and ignorance.
    The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.

  4. #94
    On my way home from work, I briefly saw a beautiful woman in the train. She had large, green eyes, she was thin, slender, graceful, and had perfect skin. Her hair was neatly arranged, and her attire was tasteful. All in all, a very mundanely beautiful person.

    As the train was coming to a stop, we were standing side by side. She must've put her gloves on at this point, for I remember noticing the well-endowed diamond ring. The doors swung open, and we both reached for the hand rail to assist in our descent from the carriage. For a very brief moment, the tip of my pinky finger brushed her hand. As she moved her hand away I saw her glance sharply at me before reaching into her bag and reaching in for what seemed to be a can of spray. She removed the lid and sprayed her glove where I had ever-so-gently brushed against her. Then with a single, flowing movement she replaced the lid and then the spray within her bag, swished her hair to one side and stepped past me out the door with a sideways look of suspicion in her eyes and a slight curl in her lip.

    As I stepped down to the platform, the realization dawned on me, with some gravity, that this tiny, unremarkable incident was the first time I had touched, or been touched by, another human being in quite some time. That this yearned-for touch drew such dismissive and derisory behaviour, that she saw me as an object of disgust, filled me with a searing rush of frustrated fury.

    "Well FUCK YOU MADAM!" I screamed at her passing, barely an inch from her ear.

    She shrank back in sudden fright, her hands instictively rising to her cheeks, her mouth open, her eyes wide with fear, her feet rooted to the ground, a small rabbit caught in the headlights of my bright and beautiful rage. A small gasp escaped her sensual lips;
    "I ... "

    I smiled my most unpleasant and insincere smile, shoved my hands into the pockets of my puffa jacket, and sauntered past her cowering form.

    Hell is other people, of that one can be certain.

  5. #95
    Nothing anywhere near as deep as what Nessus posted...

    ...I can't find how to change the green that occurs when you hover over a user's friends...using any search method. VB's search and replace feature? Zero matches for #00FF00. Going through each individual CSS page by hand using Firefox to search for #00FF00? Zero matches. Wasted minutes...
    . . .

  6. #96
    Heh. 'Deep'?

    Of course not.

  7. #97
    Quote Originally Posted by Timbuk2 View Post
    Heh. 'Deep'?

    Of course not.
    Well its messing with my groove. , furiously trying to change something with zero effect...rage...
    . . .

  8. #98
    "Well it's messing with my groove" he said gently.

    "Furiously trying to change something with zero effect. Rage ..."

    He left that last word hanging momentarily in the crisp morning air.

    Rage ...

    I sucked greedily on the juices this monosyllabic morsel foreshadowed, waiting for more.

    Always waiting.

  9. #99
    Quote Originally Posted by Timbuk2 View Post
    On my way home from work, I briefly saw a beautiful woman in the train. She had large, green eyes, she was thin, slender, graceful, and had perfect skin. Her hair was neatly arranged, and her attire was tasteful. All in all, a very mundanely beautiful person.

    As the train was coming to a stop, we were standing side by side. She must've put her gloves on at this point, for I remember noticing the well-endowed diamond ring. The doors swung open, and we both reached for the hand rail to assist in our descent from the carriage. For a very brief moment, the tip of my pinky finger brushed her hand. As she moved her hand away I saw her glance sharply at me before reaching into her bag and reaching in for what seemed to be a can of spray. She removed the lid and sprayed her glove where I had ever-so-gently brushed against her. Then with a single, flowing movement she replaced the lid and then the spray within her bag, swished her hair to one side and stepped past me out the door with a sideways look of suspicion in her eyes and a slight curl in her lip.

    As I stepped down to the platform, the realization dawned on me, with some gravity, that this tiny, unremarkable incident was the first time I had touched, or been touched by, another human being in quite some time. That this yearned-for touch drew such dismissive and derisory behaviour, that she saw me as an object of disgust, filled me with a searing rush of frustrated fury.

    "Well FUCK YOU MADAM!" I screamed at her passing, barely an inch from her ear.

    She shrank back in sudden fright, her hands instictively rising to her cheeks, her mouth open, her eyes wide with fear, her feet rooted to the ground, a small rabbit caught in the headlights of my bright and beautiful rage. A small gasp escaped her sensual lips;
    "I ... "

    I smiled my most unpleasant and insincere smile, shoved my hands into the pockets of my puffa jacket, and sauntered past her cowering form.

    Hell is other people, of that one can be certain.
    I'm afraid I do not really understand what you are trying to say here

    And for the record mine's a long leather jacket, dunno what a puffa is
    In the future, the Berlin wall will be a mile high, and made of steel. You too will be made to crawl, to lick children's blood from jackboots. There will be no creativity, only productivity. Instead of love there will be fear and distrust, instead of surrender there will be submission. Contact will be replaced with isolation, and joy with shame. Hope will cease to exist as a concept. The Earth will be covered with steel and concrete. There will be an electronic policeman in every head. Your children will be born in chains, live only to serve, and die in anguish and ignorance.
    The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.

  10. #100
    Trying to say?

    Err ... there are no implications behind my words m'dear.

    Words are playthings. Just that.

  11. #101
    Quote Originally Posted by Timbuk2 View Post
    Trying to say?

    Err ... there are no implications behind my words m'dear.

    Words are playthings. Just that.
    I dunno, you changed my story about the side-effects of clinical depression into a story about an aggressive sociopath. I thought there was some message buried in there, guess not.
    In the future, the Berlin wall will be a mile high, and made of steel. You too will be made to crawl, to lick children's blood from jackboots. There will be no creativity, only productivity. Instead of love there will be fear and distrust, instead of surrender there will be submission. Contact will be replaced with isolation, and joy with shame. Hope will cease to exist as a concept. The Earth will be covered with steel and concrete. There will be an electronic policeman in every head. Your children will be born in chains, live only to serve, and die in anguish and ignorance.
    The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.

  12. #102
    Word association. Or mental image association.

    When I came across the mental image of one stranger's hand brushing accidentally against another, the immediate mental image I had was one of the brushee pulling away in disgust. A can of some kind of spray to cover up the idea of the smell was the mental image that followed. And the psychotic reaction of the brusher was the mental image which followed that. And so on.

  13. #103
    Fair enough!

    I actively avoided loaded verbs like flinching away and such, because I doubt she even noticed the whole thing. It only had meaning for me. As many other things in our days have meaning to the other people we encounter without us ever realizing them. That was the second thing that sprang to my mind as I was walking home from the station. I just felt like it was something that I wanted to write down.
    In the future, the Berlin wall will be a mile high, and made of steel. You too will be made to crawl, to lick children's blood from jackboots. There will be no creativity, only productivity. Instead of love there will be fear and distrust, instead of surrender there will be submission. Contact will be replaced with isolation, and joy with shame. Hope will cease to exist as a concept. The Earth will be covered with steel and concrete. There will be an electronic policeman in every head. Your children will be born in chains, live only to serve, and die in anguish and ignorance.
    The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.

  14. #104
    Quote Originally Posted by Nessus View Post
    an aggressive sociopath
    Homeless Black Girl: *looks around the train* "I'M GONNA KILL ALL YOU CRACKA'S!"
    Old Jewish Man Reading a Newspaper: *looks up at the crazy lady*
    Homeless Black Girl: "What cho lookin' at bitch!? I'mma kill you first."
    Old Jewish Man Reading a Newspaper: *goes back to reading his paper*
    Homeless Black Girl: "Fuck all you white people! Why you got to bother me?"

    . . .

  15. #105
    Quote Originally Posted by Nessus View Post
    Fair enough!

    I actively avoided loaded verbs like flinching away and such, because I doubt she even noticed the whole thing. It only had meaning for me. As many other things in our days have meaning to the other people we encounter without us ever realizing them. That was the second thing that sprang to my mind as I was walking home from the station. I just felt like it was something that I wanted to write down.
    Writing stuff down is good.

    You should do more.

    Amateur writer's and short-stories sub-forum?

  16. #106
    Quote Originally Posted by Timbuk2 View Post
    Writing stuff down is good.

    You should do more.

    Amateur writer's and short-stories sub-forum?
    The CC Dream Theatre had a brief but eventful run
    In the future, the Berlin wall will be a mile high, and made of steel. You too will be made to crawl, to lick children's blood from jackboots. There will be no creativity, only productivity. Instead of love there will be fear and distrust, instead of surrender there will be submission. Contact will be replaced with isolation, and joy with shame. Hope will cease to exist as a concept. The Earth will be covered with steel and concrete. There will be an electronic policeman in every head. Your children will be born in chains, live only to serve, and die in anguish and ignorance.
    The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.

  17. #107
    It was very well written the short encounter you posted.
    . . .

  18. #108

  19. #109
    Why would anyone want to look like the Michelin man
    In the future, the Berlin wall will be a mile high, and made of steel. You too will be made to crawl, to lick children's blood from jackboots. There will be no creativity, only productivity. Instead of love there will be fear and distrust, instead of surrender there will be submission. Contact will be replaced with isolation, and joy with shame. Hope will cease to exist as a concept. The Earth will be covered with steel and concrete. There will be an electronic policeman in every head. Your children will be born in chains, live only to serve, and die in anguish and ignorance.
    The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.

  20. #110
    I didn't think anyone but tiny children (never mine) wore those hideous things.
    We're stuck in a bloody snowglobe.

  21. #111
    Quote Originally Posted by littlelolligagged View Post
    I didn't think anyone but tiny children (never mine) wore those hideous things.
    Come to NYC, you'll see quite a few "thuggish" individuals wearing them...
    . . .

  22. #112
    Quote Originally Posted by Illusions View Post
    Come to NYC, you'll see quite a few "thuggish" individuals wearing them...
    Interesting. The "thuggish" types here tend to wear jackets proclaiming their love of some sports team or player. Not that I spend much time in places where I can observe them.
    We're stuck in a bloody snowglobe.

  23. #113
    The kinda stuff a lot of the dudes from eight mile would wear.


  24. #114
    Indicators! Blinkers. They are on your car for a reason Goddamnit. They are there so I know what the fuck you are about to do with your ton of overpriced Deutsch metal penis.
    I could have had class. I could have been a contender.
    I could have been somebody. Instead of a bum
    Which is what I am

    I aim at the stars
    But sometimes I hit London

  25. #115
    Tsk. BMW drivers. Indicators are an optional extra.

  26. #116
    Just Floatin... termite's Avatar
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    I'm completely and utterly exhausted, physically and mentally drained to the point of . . .
    Such is Life...

  27. #117
    Termite? Termite!?

    ....

    Oh my god!
    I could have had class. I could have been a contender.
    I could have been somebody. Instead of a bum
    Which is what I am

    I aim at the stars
    But sometimes I hit London

  28. #118
    Senior Member Lor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Timbuk2 View Post
    Tsk. BMW drivers. Indicators are an optional extra.
    All the same, the bastards. Silly rep mobiles!

  29. #119
    I know. I'm on my 3rd BMW.

    This morning someone had the cheek to be in the BMW lane on the motorway! In a Ford! A quick flash of the lights and the peasant moved over.

  30. #120
    You drive a BMW?

    Say it aint so!

    Do you have a picture of it so I can be properly disgusted by it?

    edit: By the way, favourite past time with regard to bmw's: drive in the fast lane in front of BMW next to person on slow lane obeying the speedlimit. Flashing lights is 10 points, horn honking 15, indicating left or moving car to the left (right in limeyplace) 5.

    Always move out of the way just before the point where you know is a speedcamera. If you get him to run it, 50 points!
    I could have had class. I could have been a contender.
    I could have been somebody. Instead of a bum
    Which is what I am

    I aim at the stars
    But sometimes I hit London

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