I didn't mean for my whining to cause a problem
It's okay, GGT. I didn't take offense to Nessus's post. I figured she was stating a simple biological fact. Either that or I've lost favor with her and she really does wish an early death upon me. I'm pretty sure it's the former, but I won't be hurt either way.
The truth of it is I am mediocre; easily expendable. At one time in my life I thought I was something special. Fresh out of high school and entering college, I thought maybe I'd find my gift. Maybe I'd one day be a marine biologist or marine paleontologist. When that didn't pan out, I turned to chemistry. In the end, I went to a mediocre college, got a mediocre degree. What I thought of myself as a pretty smart person in high school was quickly revealed to be slightly above average in college. I've had a couple of cool jobs in my eyes, but in the grand scheme of things they too are probably mediocre. I am a mediocre mom and wife. When I am gone, I will not be remembered for any life-changing reasons. They will say, " Oh, Cat? She seemed nice. Pretty dependable....and...well....she seemed nice." It is hard to recognize oneself as mediocre, but truly that is all I am.
The one extraordinary thing I have had in my life is a very supportive family, and the love of a man much smarter, more patient and gentle, than I could ever be. How I got that is still beyond me. When we are long gone that will not be anything for others to remember; but at least for now my little pathetic heart can hold on to that, just a little longer...