Thanks for your latest post. Information is good. With more info, I would like to start over as my last posts were made with a lot of assumptions.

Quote Originally Posted by oldmunchkin View Post
The other thing I am completely confused about is this wild idea that it is somehow irresponsible of John and Jane to try to live together as a family. I don't quite know what they think these people should be doing, but living together isn't it, that's for sure. Lolli seems to think it's neglect to make the child change schools, sometimes a couple times a school year. I say, if construction workers are neglecting their children by making them change schools, then so are military families, any family that moves for the purpose of a new job or job advancement. Hell, who cares if you have NO job where you are, have no unemployment benefits, and there is no assistance program to help you...if you have kids in school, stay the fuck there until they graduate! No exceptions...it is abuse and neglect to make a child change schools!

I think this is the part that most people have a problem with. It seems neglectful to drag your family around on your gypsy like work schedule instead of establishing a home somewhere, create some kind of stable life for your family and send the money home.

My Father-In-Law (FIL) drove a log truck his entire life. My wife had 4 brothers and 1 sister. The never lived in a hotel room, but they did move quite a bit growing up (I think they moved at least 6 times before my wife graduated high school). They always lived in rural areas (wherever the timber was), and they did the best they could with what they had. Times were tough a lot of the time, and none of them would tell you they had a perfect childhood. They went without a lot, there was a lot of hand-me-downs and such. Tempers flared from time to time, things were thrown, people were hit, people yelled. But they are all grown now, and they all talk to their parents, give them a place to stay whenever they want, so on and so forth. Except for the youngest one, who intentionally ran over his father with his truck last night, but that had nothing to do with FIL's job and everything to do with the way he was raised differently than the others.

Catgrrl, John was an over-the-road trucker for about 15 years, before going to work for ABConstruction. (Not it's real name!) He blames the loss of his first marriage to that job. Hell, he was never home. He has 2 older kids that he hasn't talked to since the death of his Mother about 5 years ago. They say that Dad was never home, didn't care enough about them to try to be closer to them when they were growing up, was never there for the school programs, birthdays, illnesses and whatnot, so why should they care to talk to him now. He is determined that will NOT happen with Jack. I can't say as I can fault his thinking there!
Wow, I didn't even read this before I posted about my FIL.

I can understand him not wanted to repeat the past, but it's always been my belief that jobs don't ruin marriages and parent\child relationships, people do. They might not know what they are doing at the time, especially if they are young and new to being married and being parents, but ultimately, not being home is not reason to stop loving someone whether you are a child or a spouse.

Based on new information, I don't see anything wrong with you helping these people out. The reason the word "enabler" was thrown around is because it was assumed that this was a common these with these people.