Okay, I think it's fixed. I tried upgrading to PHP v7, and apparently VB doesn't like that.
I'd really appreciate it if someone could reply to this post, just to make sure.
Sorry for the trouble. I should have probably tried a test post after the upgrade instead of just assuming that if I could navigate everything, nothing was busted.
If anything ever happens like this again, the discord is probably the fastest way to get my attention.
They told us we'd won; they didn't say what we've lost.
"One day, we shall die. All the other days, we shall live."