My Faggala better half and I are beginning the process to adopt...

[Veldan Rath]

I'm f-ing petrified and eager all at once.

Anyone else here adoptive parents...and have any (HELPFUL) advice?

We have not told our friends yet...as we don't want the extensive blah blah yet. We are looking at going to the meetings first, get some of the classes under our belts, and then take our temperature, then tell our friends/family.

[Ominous Gamer]

Dad was adopted, so I can tell you not all the kids are broken.

I also read this the other day, not really advice, but more of a heads up for 10 or so years down the road...

[Veldan Rath]

Ouchie, but to be expected in one way or another I guess. Just one more leap down the tech road will bring us more ways to stalk each other.

Thanks for the heads up though!

[Loki]

Just avoid older kids from Eastern Europe. Do your research ahead of time, so you're not put into a horrible position once it's too late.

[Veldan Rath]

LOL, we are going to be adopting a bit older...around 8 or so.

But yeah, we will be very direct with our abilities to the agency and who and what we are.

[']['ear]

Good luck!

[Ziggy Stardust]

I'm f-ing petrified and eager all at once.

Anyone else here adoptive parents...and have any (HELPFUL) advice?.

Nope.

Just: Best of luck and I hope it all works out brilliant

[Timbuk2]

What a fantastic thing to do.

[Dreadnaught]

Best of luck.

Any reason you want an eight year old? I usually don't hear people asking for that.

[Lor]

No advice from me, except i wish you both the very best of luck.

[Hazir]

Get a therapist involved.

[Ominous Gamer]

Best of luck.

Any reason you want an eight year old? I usually don't hear people asking for that.

8 is pretty common. Most kids are considered self sufficient at that age. Any younger and you still have to break them in.

[Veldan Rath]

8 is pretty common. Most kids are considered self sufficient at that age. Any younger and you still have to break them in.

Pretty close!

We decided with our current stage in life (late 30's) that an older child is best. And as everyone wants a baby, we would be waiting years before our turn. 8 years old seems a good fit. Young enough to still learn something from us, old enough not to require constant hand-holding.

And old enough to start teaching how to play D&D!

<casts Magic Missile at Lolli>

We are also thinking of Respite Foster care, while working on the adoption process.

Edit: And thanks for the well wishes everyone!

[littlelolligagged]

I'm sure you'll be a great parent, even if you are throwing magic missiles at people (why oh why is something that sounds like a vibrator name the only thing you people can come up with out of this game) and making sure that your poor child will be a social outcast because of the nerdiNess you are exposing him or her too.

Just be careful. An older kid up for adotption could very well have emotional or other problems, and that can be a lot to deal with. Just make sure you know what's happening, and make sure the child is a good comfortable fit with you and your better half.

[Veldan Rath]

I think being the adopted child of 2 dads will make having D&D Books the least of his worries.

There will be To Shin Do classes as well (if the boy has the inclination/temperment ) to cover that.

But you are correct, we will have to overcome many compatability issues, I don't want to force a child to deal with 2 dads if that does not jive with his world... and some of the child profiles involve churchy kids.

Now that will be interesting!


<casts Tasha's Hideous Laughter at Lolli>

[Veldan Rath]

Went to the first informational meeting tonight (2 hours).

Nothing they said made me run screaming and infact put my mind a bit at ease.

The thing that was going to make life difficult is that Maine only allows one same sex parent to adopt. So we were trying to figure out which one would do the actual adoption thus on whose insurance to put the lilttle bugger on.

As I would be the primary parent (due to the Better Half's travel scheudle) at home it would make sense for me to adopt, but Better Half's insurance is...better.

Come to find out, children that are adopted are covered by MaineCare, even after the adoption is complete...so that makes that decision for us.

Now on to the application process (fingerprinting and background checks!)..anyone wanna be a reference???

[littlelolligagged]

Not with all that word tickling going on.

I'm glad the informational meeting tonight was good for you. Interesting that MaineCare continues coverage even after the adoption is complete. I wonder if Georgia's Peachcare does the same thing.

[GGT]

to find out, children that are adopted are covered by MaineCare, even after the adoption is complete...so that makes that decision for us.

Is that like Medicaid or SCHIPs?

Sounds like you're happy and excited.

[Dreadnaught]

Went to the first informational meeting tonight (2 hours).

Nothing they said made me run screaming and infact put my mind a bit at ease.

The thing that was going to make life difficult is that Maine only allows one same sex parent to adopt. So we were trying to figure out which one would do the actual adoption thus on whose insurance to put the lilttle bugger on.

As I would be the primary parent (due to the Better Half's travel scheudle) at home it would make sense for me to adopt, but Better Half's insurance is...better.

Come to find out, children that are adopted are covered by MaineCare, even after the adoption is complete...so that makes that decision for us.

Now on to the application process (fingerprinting and background checks!)..anyone wanna be a reference???

Maybe there are provisions in your partner's insurance/state law that allow her to declare the kid as a dependent, even if you are the actual adopter?

[Veldan Rath]

I was very surprised but, after looking at the numbers, it is one more incentive to encourage people to adopt, as extend health coverage is less expensive for the State than extended health coverage + the other child care costs (food, shelter, education, blah blah blah, then as they get older... money for dates, cars).

[Veldan Rath]

Maybe there are provisions in your partner's insurance/state law that allow her to declare the kid as a dependent, even if you are the actual adopter?

State law..no.

But his company, most likely. Hell, they say I can drive his company car due to our domestic relationship...

I really do like his company.

[GGT]

Socialized healthcare, tax payer leech! (just joking)

Would you adopt a little girl or are you set on a boy? Just curious, sorry if that's being too nosy.

[Veldan Rath]

Socialized healthcare, tax payer leech! (just joking)

Would you adopt a little girl or are you set on a boy? Just curious, sorry if that's being too nosy.

As we don't want to relaunch My Two Dads....we are gonna be adamant on a boy.

We think it would just be eaiser...girls are getting tougher to raise in today's sexed up society.

And...when she gets older...we don't want her asking us if we think her boyfriend is cute.

[GGT]

Sorry, I don't know what My Two Dads means

Girls are harder to raise than boys, something I've been told but also believe to be true!

And if your son turns out to be gay, you'll still be asked if the boyfriend is cute.

[Bitter Jeweler]

Good Luck, and Congrats on making this HUGE decision.


I don't think I could ever do it. Parenting. It'd be something like this..."No, Johnny, I can't get you a new pair of shoes. Daddy needs a new Graphics Card."

[littlelolligagged]

That's when you learn how awesome coupons are.

Seriously. My local news shows people who get a hundred dollars worth of groceries for pocket change. Makes my $45 off the last time I went to the grocery store seem inconsequential.

[Timbuk2]

One thing I meant to ask - what does faggala mean?

[Veldan Rath]

Sorry, I don't know what My Two Dads means

Asked by Timby: One thing I meant to ask - what does faggala mean?

Fag...but with style?

It's a joke within my circle of friends...we put on a Long Island accent of the Jewish old lady persuasion and that is what we call each other.

[Timbuk2]

Sounds like a Greek word.

[Veldan Rath]

You can replace Jewish with Greek...but you will have to change it too 'Oh look, another faggala has moved in...he's too skinny, I make him some lamb."